seriously, how is that even an insult?

THIS. That entire clan is so privileged. Amber is unapologetically amazing when describing her past career, and although Amber has said some things I don't agree with, I think it's great how she owns her past. Being a stripper is nothing to be ashamed of.

They definitely weren't a case of opposites attract.

That is some crazy eyes realness right there....

This is the look of one absolutely mental person.

Okay, I'm going to defend the woman in #1. It's possible that she is not actually allergic, but has a condition like diverticulitis, in which she can't eat nuts and seeds because they'll stick in her digestive tract. If the nuts are ground up, this doesn't happen. Explaining this to everyone you meet is kind of…

Can someone explain what is funny about The Californians? This was painful.

One of the highlights for me was the all-woman weekend update segment with Amy, Tina, and Jane. I would love to have seen more from those three together!

let's not forget the real MVP of the night, tho

the Californians went on for (approximately) 5 hours

I too suffer from blonde eyelash syndrome. I also have very fair, skin which ensures that the morning bags under my eyes are purple if I don't put on concealer. Add in ponytail and throw a knit cap over the whole thing so you can't see my hair, and people look generally concerned about whether I can make it to my…

Super light shimmery eyeshadow either makes people either look awesome, or weird. Maybe a little of both. I like to wear it in the summer when my freckles pop out. I've tried it with my ghastly pale winter complexion but it really does not work then. It's so finicky. I have to give Uma props for doing something…

Frankly, whatever makeup artist thought this was 'bold and editorial' versus 'over-fake-tanned and poorly chosen' should go back to MAC makeup school. I was just not into the red lip in that colour paired with the badly-blended bronzer that matched her hair.

I feel you, Uma. No one recognizes me when I don't wear eye makeup, either. The curse of being a blonde with basically invisible brows and lashes.

"Those of us at the live taping were shocked when he announced his resignation."

Why is there an article dedicated to one girls suicide? Thousands of people commit suicide every year. What is so unique about this one? A girl has sex with multiple boys, someone films it, she is harassed at school, and kills herself. We have heard it all before.

I'm always not quite sure how to feel about that statement. Certainly, autism has been cast as the boogeyman of the anti-vaccine movement. Most people with autism can function and do okay.

When the oceans rise another 3 feet and the refugees from Arizona Bay, West Virginia Harbor and the Gulf of Arkansas come pouring inland, those who do not call it "pop" will be refused entry into our glorious new republic.

From now on I'm only referring to Southerners as Civil War Losers

It's Pop, you hear me? POP. Soda is for coastal degenerates, and Coke is for Civil War losers.