IF THE POOP IS SAUSAGE SHAPED IT CAN NOT BE CONSIDERED A SANDWICH, I WILL FIGHT YOU IN THE MOUTH

Had to quickly pause the video while my boss came by and this is the gem that I treated to after I pulled the window back up...

Since both those teams have been to the Stanley Cup Finals in this century, which the Capitals have not, and Carolina even won a Cup in 2006... yes, better to be them.

He absolutely never asks for money anywhere in that WaPo article. The blurb you cited “No more paying four, five times the rent compared to other teams[...]” was in reference to him paying off his mortgage and the profitability of his company. The guy is bitching about having a shitty mortgage. He’s even adamant that…

“We’re going across the country, from New York to Pennsylvania and back again.”

It takes a hell of a lot more than a venue and enough money to pay 14 professional baseketball players to run a successful professional sports organization. Coaches, training staff, facilities, marketing, scouting, the hundreds of other employees involved in the organization, infrastructure, public relations, legal,…

It’s worse than that, since Ted clearly wasn’t talking about the teams being financially handicapped, but instead speaking in the context of profitability and business competition. Nowhere in the article is the guy with a top-10 NHL payroll trying to pretend he can’t financially compete. Burnenko is just so…

Burneko: *Googles FedEx Field history* Well..Fuck the Cubs!

It makes no sense because Burnenko is willfully misreading the man’s comments.

You been drinking today Big Al?

Though the District did retroactively give the Ownership group some tax breaks because, unlike so many other team owners, they really did put up their own money and the <strike>MCI</strike> Verizon Center really was a stadium that acted as an anchor for genuine Urban Renewal (like, it really did develop really nicely…

This was not the best outing of his career. You obviously aren’t paying attention. He is the holder of one of the single greatest pitching performances in major league history.

Sure, the alternate version is Deadspin.com/Foodspin-cum-ass-titty-fuck-jizzbomb-blackcock

That should work, right?

Defensive coordinator: Focus on Julio this week guys, we need to keep him in check, can’t shoot ourselves in the foot.

yes...offside

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

I bet Lochte was pissed.