Well, if they sell OE it can’t be all bad.

A little on the nose, but it’s gotta be this for me.

I always thought his teeth were way too perfect for a backwoods convict drug dealer (or whatever his angle was, I forget).

Like Mac and Principal Belding.

In hindsight, I think STP is clearly the cream of the bottom of the barrel. 

Ol’ Eddie K. told you right.

That’s why god invented sick days. 

This anecdote is fantastic. 

Aww sweet! A new Weezer album.

I made it about five sentences into that review before I tapped out. 

Ha! I made that same joke to my girlfriend when we watched the first 30 seconds of Bohemian Rhapsody, so I’m pretty sure that you are a hilarious person.

That’s a Jerry Springer-level dumbshit move. 

Are these things on?

As a teenager, I took a date to see it and we were absolutely baffled.

Did you just call Nicolas Cage brilliant?

Ha! I’ll tell him that one (like he doesn’t already know it).

You should check out that new Rolling Stones album. Their best work since Some Girls. 

It’s okay. They cut it with baby laxatives.

I’ve never seen the SNL sketch, but the MacGruber film was absolutely hilarious.

My uncle is fond of making “68” jokes.