So a three-legged dog walks into the Old West Saloon and says: “I’m lookin’ for the feller’ that shot my Paw!”

Really? Okay. I admit it. I like Kelly Ripa. So I’m obviously biased. I also think Strahan was a SURPRISINGLY good fit for LIVE. I thought Josh Groban or Seth Meyers would have been better choices to fill Regis’ seat at the time, but Strahan more than earned his co-host title on the show. He’s a great find! Together…

Only if you care about corporations more than people.

One time student and instructor here, shop around and don’t settle. There’s a lot of “Krav Maga” schools that ain’t. And at lot full of puffed chest blowhards. But when you find a good program, you won’t regret it. At least until you take your first test....

We Scots fellas are also emotionally repressed. Until we have a drink. Then people just wish we were emotionally repressed.

Again, I said not all parents do this. I will force my future kids to sit, because that is what is right and good in the world. I have just helped enough of my family’s kids to know that some of them do this.

Wow, I have never ever stood while wiping. And I have also never ever touched anything in the toilet that I didn’t plan on touching. How much shit do you deposit that there’s a lot above the water line? Even the floaters are 98% submerged.

If you stand to wipe, you are one of those motherfuckers that gets shit on the walls, the fixtures, everywhere in public restrooms. Keep the sewage in the bowl you filthy animals!

You have to have the 1-2 combo. Always start out with the initial front to back, but towards the end, throw in a back to front to hit any snow that’s on the leeward side of the mountain. Wipe ‘til it’s white, like a boss.

your hand is already underneath your ass, you just drop the paper in the toilet like a normal person. WHAT ARE THESE ARGUMENTS EVEN

What is wrong with you lunatics? You lean to the side and just lift one butt cheek.

SIT YOUR ASS DOWN TO WIPE FFS.

Ugh You’re just some dumbass Marvel fanboy that clearly can’t understand just how smart the movie was. You see, Snyder went for a more cerebral look at the childish comic book movies that Marvel has been forcing on us. Clearly, we needed to see Batman’s origin again (but done properly this time!) and a double down on…

Fuck that house and that engagement ring, take the fucking trip.

You mean like this?

I don’t know what to say here because I understand everything you’re saying but we also never know what incredible strides science can make and the miracles it can perform. My great cousin (I don’t know how to do family..is she removed? 2nd cousin?) was diagnosed with STAGE FOUR Lung Cancer 20 years after she quit…

IT’S ALL WE HAVE!!!

It’s our revenge.

Don’t listen to all of these other bozos droning on about black holes. The correct answer is me. I am at the center of the galaxy and should be treated thusly.

Sorry, I thought everyone knew that Jesus died in the end.