Do you know who would have a really funny joke about OJ dying? Norm McDonald. RIP Norm. 

Getting caught in the gears of a combine...that’s the way I want to go.

I’ll always say I find manuals more fun and engaging but I’d never call them better. Better depends on the person and the task.

The seatbelt thing is just so easy to validate too. My state has a highway patrol database of accidents. From minor it drove away, to fatal.

nailed it!

“No you don’t actually need a $70,000 Chevy Tahoe RST for you, your spouse and two kids. A Chrysler Pacifica would do you just fine.”

...putting starters under intake manifolds

What? Ha ha, no! Absolutely not. I’m Bam Sarbanti!

and zoom out to an autistic kid staring at a snow globe?

Well one of the other actors from Head of the Class (the guy who wasn't a nerd) was previously the head of Nickelodeon and is now the CEO of Paramount pictures. So that probably helped his career.

I was going to say, yes he was an actor, but not necessarily a GOOD actor. Maybe he should have hired Daniel Day-Lewis to play him for the apology. Although DDL would have had to do six months of living like Dan Schneider, so maybe best to go ahead and leave DDL out of it. For his own sanity.

Well he plays a character named Walton Sobchunk who won’t stop yelling about how he has to give stuff up for fuckin’ Lent.  He also says “You’re in over your head, Daniel!”

Marc Summers throwing water in Burt Reynolds face is one of my all-time favorite late night moments.

I’m really happy this didn’t turn into a “Marc Summers was sus” article.

I can understand wanting to distance himself from all of that but, honestly, his genuinely shocked reaction only made him look better. He doesn’t have anything to be upset about (other than the events that caused the documentary to exist at all)

They retire from farming, but they become more active in local politics. Bringing those classic values of the ‘50s with them. Fuck...

Camero huh?

Starring John Cena in all roles.

Johnny Chesterfield Q. Fucking Christ.