Why your team sucks

People keep knocking that song down, but it gets up again.

And risked getting royally fucked by a cheating charge in your academic record for: (a) someone who is probably not a really good friend and (b) only $20. Bad decisions all around.

Bishop Sankey always sounds like a third rate Catholic high school to me.

CBT (cock and ball torture), cock ball slapping, foursomes, bi-sexual salad tossing, vegan ice cream, offside hand jobs, cornhusker cock crunching, anal blitzing, roughing the passer (sex act and penalty), and ball shamming.

My question is if you hand him a copy of “Stardust”, does he beat you into unconsciousness with it?

The worst worst is when you’ve already hit play on the sports website’s linked video and the auto-popup covers up the video and mixes with the sound.

+1 You Can Skip This Post in 5..4..3..2..1 My god, I FUCKING HATE THAT

Eh, they’re the exact same to me. Both engage in the most ridiculous leaps of logic to defend the call on the field, then when it gets reversed they immediately take the opposite position.

You blew the handjob question

- “Would you rather get a handjob from your mom or give a handjob to your dad?”

RE: Getting out of the shower: I don’t understand why people do this either. My wife, who is otherwise a wonderful person, soaks the entire bathmat, bathroom, and half of our bedroom every time she steps out of the shower. I don’t even understand how her body can physically hold that much water on its surface.

Give the quarterback a fucking gun.

This guy was my server at a bar before the game. I went to the bar and got my own drinks, thanks.

I was at the game and I saw that family in my section. My fiancée, who knows very little about football, looked at his shirt and turned towards me and said “didn’t Sharper go to jail for assault?” I said “oh no, he was the serial rapist”. She didn’t say anything for the next three minutes. She just stared at the mom…

You eat the lunch your wife packed at like 10 a.m. then still go get your burrito. Or eat the burrito and throw the lunch away and never mention it. But you don’t, under any circumstances, risk fucking that situation up, you moron.

Since you asked went to college with a guy from Boston who’s favorite team was wait for it. The Dallas Cowboys. This was during the Aikman-Emmitt-Irvin era. Lost contact over the years but ran into him on Facebook last year and we became FaceBook friends. After last year’s Super Bowl he was posting about “Our Fourth…

“Draw me like one of your French girls.”