I thought all TV paper companies were under the Umbrella ... um, umbrella...

I am on the verge of becoming the old male version of this woman. Granted, I live less than 100 feet from a four-way stop intersection that people think is a red octagon suggestion and there are children in the neighborhood, but hey, why stop when you can blast through and glare at potential victims...

Oh. Sorry. I thought the people with the burning flesh smell should get one...

This is what I told my children years ago, and it seems relevant here.

Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle...

Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle...

This.

I knew a lady that referred to an ex-lover as Coke Can, as in he was like two cans of Coke stacked one on top of the other, and the girth was the deal-sealer on the name. She then advised that she spent the entire time “screaming” and begging for him to finish. I advised her to never, ever tell any other man that she…

GODDAM PF FLYERS NEVER ONCE MADE ME RUN FASTER OR JUMP HIGHER!!!

It isn’t the job, it’s the company.

Every single 18 year old non-white person in the United States (and the non-states like Puerto Rico, Guam, D.C.) need to get together, go in groups and demand the permit to carry concealed.

Superior analogy. You! To the head of the class!

Send me a private message when this glorious day happens. I will need to be there, with the grandpa backup wallet (which, being a grandpa myself, he will understand).

Eldest s0n (36) and I will be heading to the CINEMA to see My Neighbor Totoro. Currently listening to my mix of preferred Peter Gabriel tracks (61 tracks, runs over 5 hours). Will finish reading James Ellroy’s Suicide Hill.

Once upon a time in the 70s’...

A’ight, but... what if Swift took the award and smacked him with it?

...not that there’s anything wrong with that.

To this day, I honestly believe the judge involved agreed to try the case specifically so Fogerty could be called upon to perform in the court.