It is now.

I go by whatever people call me. As a boy, my mother forced me to sit down and write out my “legal signature” and told me (ordered, to be clear) to “SIGN YOUR NAME THE EXACT SAME WAY EVERY SINGLE TIME!” (Her father had just died, and he signed legal documents four separate ways requiring the service of an attorney to…

Sure. Me, I’ll do it. I will go so far as to give them an address where we can meet and all be friends.

I’d buy these. Had the image from the one on the left as a poster throughout college.

1. My beloved Tigers

Wait. I know that name. That face confuses me...

I suppose I could put on white face, but that would make me a mime. ... no.

I do what I can.

The winnings would be funneled into the trust fund set up for yourself and/or family (presuming one prefers to either push the toxics aside or give them free reign and watch them implode, which I guess is a thing rich people do from what I see on TV etc.).

What debate? They were punk.

MC5, The Stooges and Death, all from Detroit where PUNK BEGAN DAMMIT!

Thank you.

How very droll, kind human. Spot of tea?

*sets book aside*

Fox News is desperately seeking someone like a Marinus Van Der Lubbe.

And here I was, seeking a reason to stay away from sharp objects and guns for the day. This did it. Now I am (literally, I am not joking) suicidally depressed. Once I hit publish, I am calling a therapist.

Everybody needs this. Everybody.

Maybe Charlie Brooker or Seth McFarlane would be happy to step up and allow a USS Callister or Orville.

Oh, dear God. No. PLEASE.

He remains my hero.