The doctor is . . . a woman!

*she

The fan offered to give Dwight two free shots at him, both of which Dwight promptly missed.

Genius mirror comment. Bravo.

I dunno, I give them credit for making Adrian Peterson hobble through a restaurant/bar to get to the locker room...

The only thing worse than them using the suites would be if they DIDN’T use them. Nothing bugs me more when I’m at a game and I see a super expensive suite that’s basically empty. Meanwhile, I’m crammed in next to a sweaty fat guy (or a mirror, I’m not sure) in tiny seats, surrounded by idiots yelling the most asinine…

“Pros and Cons” is what all publicly financed stadiums should be called.

Browns fans! Lions fan here. Come, join us in the 0-16 club. We can put aside our various state rivalries and bond over the fact that we all live shitty, shitty lives.

Don’t worry, Hue, you’ve got emotional company.

No my friend, the Brownsiest thing possible is that they win against the Bills and Chargers and end up dropping from the #1 draft pick to the #4 draft pick which they then trade it, their 2nd round, Terrelle Pryor and their next three first round picks to the Cowboys for Tony Romo who immediately injures his back in…

Unshown in the ad: That special moment when fourteen-year-olds both get to the theater and it’s closed because everyone who runs the theater can’t get there.

I’ll take that over Ms. Super Special Awesome Snowflake and her fucking Toyota. No, no one owns you. But maybe your food is just shit. But nope, you’re a special snowflake and it’s the big bad restaurant manager whose wrong.

I’m sick of seeing Marvel Studios Executive Producer Victoria Alonso claiming that she uses the Microsoft Surface, circling Billyray Fumblesnatch’s shoulder on what appears to be the final version of Dr. Strange with the comment “Yes!” and saying she doesn’t sleep, like we are supposed to be impressed. Maybe it is…

How little faith do you have in your QB when a 62 yard field goal seems more likely than completing a 10 yard pass?

Andy Reid is the best high blood pressure coach in the NFL, that’s for sure.

Leave it to the Giants to try and Josh Norman it up in here, only for them to do it in the dumbest, dorkiest way possible. A team led by Eli Manning can only be so “badass”.

did his best to embarrass his ex-coworker

Rams are giving up 6.9 yards per plays to the Saints.

The implication is that a man with a bunch of ties to DK might have someone on the inside helping him out. It’s not exactly a stretch.

If I am careless and leave my wallet somewhere, and someone else takes $300 from it (not that I carry that much money on me, but if), that person still is a thief. Obviously no one WANTS to give their money away, they are trying to win at a game and they are overestimating their own chances. Doesn’t make this right.