“she showed me the blood coming down from her elbow,” Porter said. “It looked real purple and red and it looked like there was a hole in her jacket.”

Yadier your mind if you think Cardinals won’t get sued over this.

I know it’s a little early and we should wait for all the facts to come out, but if the shooter turns out to be white I hope the President will call on white leaders like Kid Rock and Mitt Romney to put an end to their thuggish gun culture. Send in the Feds!

Mike Matheny praised the fan for taking the bullet “the right way,” noting that glory boy fans in Chicago or Kansas City would’ve demanded a stoppage to the game and drawn much more attention to themselves.

what an unmusial occurrence...

Most stadiums now have a number you can text to report shitty behavior. You can literally police the other fans from your seat, so there’s no excuse not to report some racist piece of shit.

Kids today with Molly and bath salts, nice to see a young man stick to tradition.

Hopefully this will all blow over.

Half a gram is what they put in their coffee to start the morning.

It’s a felony because he didn’t get it from a government certified drug dealer.

Just loading 31 wheels on a sled would require an ice bath and nap for me.

-The NFL commissioner said he didn’t want marijuana usage to be “something that we’ll be held accountable for some years down the road.”

Two Conference Rivals, both alike in humility
(In front of fake Philadelphia library, where we lay our scene),
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes,
A draft announcer bludgeoned by boos umpteen.

I am filled with utter joy at the sight of all this. I don’t really know why (yes I do).

Et tu Brutus?

Dear Sir: His glorious excellence Prince Ocha of Nigeria, cordially invites you to LagosFest, presented by American Super star Kylie Jenner this fall. Please kindly wire transfer $12,000 to Nigerian National Bank acct #19438489. $1M U.S. dollars will be transferred to your account upon arrival in Lagos. Only 292…

This man is a genius.

If they only offered free wifi during flights then most everyone wouldn’t even be looking up to see the debauchery.

And as history has proven, since she defiled the race with her girly running, the Boston Marathon has dwindled down to nothing and is now best known as the single most unpopular sporting event in America. And the world.