This is probably one of the best Deadspin post all year, not b.s. just good vibes...oh god i said good vibes. Whatever it’s awesome!

Sexual assault? He was just checking her for fairy dust.

I think the words you were looking for are: Classic Carmelo, sucker-punching the President.

So this is what it’s like to beat a Live horse?

Cool story, bro.

The earth is flat, multiple NBA players and Scientologists have confirmed

This is breaking news, deepthroat level...

- You read an article on Jezebel with high hopes and realize it was a bigger let down than Jaws 4.

and yet, baseball is still boring.

Also, maybe do a total of 21 miles a week.

Genetics

Speaking of bliss, Aaron Rodgers has a new girlfriend and his ex Olivia Munn “couldn’t care less.” The bliss-havers in this situation are Rodgers for having a new romantic partner in his life, Munn for being absolutely fine with that, and us for being given a perfect headline like this:

Eat Healthy + Workout = Profit

But you have to have some semblance of intelligence if you’re in a United States Public University correct?

Amazing and Baseball don’t belong in the same sentence.

Oh dear, Jezebel you have hit Free Falling status

Mmk, now connect American Graffiti with the black struggle of today.

AHh good, see we can finally weed out those people who go Tinder looking for “just friends.” I’m trying to bang, they’ve got a friend app over thurr..

So this is how Trump dies..

What’s a Bella Thorne? And Why aren’t people using Pornhub?