Aw, tent sex is great. Just don’t do it in a 2 person tent. Get one of those 3 or 4 person tents with headroom and put the lamp in the ground so I can see your silhouettes doing it from my perch in the bushes.

Two reasons to Do the Right Thing: 1) It’s the right thing; 2) Others can be inspired to do right things.

Barry, stop making me feel human. I’ve worked so hard to suppress that feeling when I come here to comment.

Forget about this story, why won’t anyone report on the apparent spree of people placing onions in front of commenters? Is it a prank? A gift? Some form of terrorism? What of the dust storms that are now plaguing offices? Are they natural, a byproduct of climate change? Some manmade HAARP style phenomenon?

“This your pizza?”

Great. Now I’m crying in a McDonald’s. And it's not for any of the usual reasons.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU GUYS?

you guys are fucking shameless

This entitled housewife looks back at her impressionable child and calmly says “She is yelling because that girl deserves it, the service is terrible every time we come here.” And then she looked me straight in the eyes.

Someone who chars hundred-dollar bills over an open flame, I guess?

It’s handcrafted by artisans in a rural hose community.

What the hell is a “heritage” garden hose?!

To be fair, she did say she was on mushrooms so she could be referring to the actual dinosaur.

How did you miss Lorenzo Cain as ‘The Great Cornholio’?

DON'T go to the park and sit on a bench and stare at your phone for 60 minutes while your kid tries to feed sand to all the other kids.

Keep talking, Mr. Roorda. Please. In fact, here's a microphone. Just tell the world every little thing that's on your mind. Don't hold back a thing. You should keep talking until your jaw gets tired, take a quick nap, and then talk some more. Nothing I could say about you could ever possibly do a better job of…

This is the absolute best thing the SLPOA could have done. By which I mean, the stupidest. The Rams players' actions would have been a one-day story—if that—and now it has legs. Their protest worked. It got a reaction, better than they could ever have imagined. Now hopefully other teams across the country will do the…

I'd remind the NFL and their players that it is not the violent thugs burning down buildings that buy their advertiser's products.

A lot of people found this offensive back in the old days. They probably still do. Fuck 'em.

Roorda warned, "I know that there are those that will say that these players are simply exercising their First Amendment rights. Well I've got news for people who think that way, cops have first amendment rights too, and we plan to exercise ours. I'd remind the NFL and their players that it is not the violent thugs…