I am not bleeding from my eyes, I’m bleeding from my wherever.

This:

Can’t stop crying or shitting. All day.

Anyone else been ill all day? I feel like I have a combination of mono, being left at the altar, and kicked in the groin. Exercise helped. And I’m super proud of myself for only eating ONE pint of Ben and Jerry’s vegan Chunky Monkey.

It will be interesting to see any NBA champs or women’s teams invited to the WH in the next 4 years.

Dear Stan,

I’ll offer this ray of hope. Probably won’t get out of the greys, but it’s worth saying.

It seems dumb for a bunch of reasons. Primarily because it’s needless and what it could mean in the locker room to players of colour.

But most of all cos it will ruin the bromance with Jon Bon Jovi.

Quite honestly unless he himself admits it I still can’t believe Belichick wrote those exact words. That sounds like Trump almost to a tee.

Late tomorrow Trump is going to deny he said any of this, and will insist he was never a candidate for President and he’ll call Mike Pence a loser.

Tomorrow, they’ll be on to Paul Ryan.

“You have dealt with an unbelievable slanted and negative media and have come out beautifully” sounds 0% like something Bill Belichick would say, and 100% like something Donald Trump would say while reading a blank page he is pretending is a letter from Bill Belichick.

Isn’t Starbucks one of the best case scenarios for lower wage workers? It was my understanding that they have been offering benefits and stuff for years before anyone gave that to service industry workers.

This is what Donald Trump says every time he looks at his polling numbers among African-Americans.

These are a bunch of scared old white men who horde guns to protect themselves from blacks, Muslims and Mexicans. There won’t be a violent uprising because that means they’d have to go outside where there could be blacks, Muslims and Mexicans.

As if his hands could wrap all the way around a baby’s neck.

aka “first”

I was at Penn at the same time as Melker. Donnie was indeed a sad sack of a human being who peed everywhere and assaulted everyone. He belonged to the most rape-y of rape-y fraternities and comfortably communicated with his asshat brothers in the misogynist language of his father and...he just sucked. He really did…

My grandfather died without ever having seen the cubs win the world series. So, my Dad, ever the crazy asshole he is, brought a radio out on the porch so gramps could listen in from heaven. We all thought he was going out there to jack off, but nope he was going out there to be with his Dad, which I thought was sweet.…