SHUT UP—he is a good and moral Christian who, yes, cheated on his third wife (who’d recently given birth to their child) and had the other woman threatened and paid off. And who’s discussing reinstating a domestic abuser in his cabinet. But don’t try your cognitive dissonance with me! LALALALALALALA.

What do you mean, the — oh, let’s not get into this.

Why do people love to complain about this so much? If you have to travel to go to a wedding, and you don’t want to spend the $, then don’t go. If it’s a close friend and I love the person, then I wouldn’t see it as some kind of burden but as a small sacrifice I have to make to be there for my dear friend. Unless…

But why did no one save the snacks??

Also, Cosmo has been featuring sex-related headlines on their covers for over 20 years. Why is Walmart deciding to pull them from their shelves *now*?

He used to work for Rahm Emanuel so this is also political for him. And Rahm obviously taught him how to fight dirty (if only he would teach the rest of the fucking democratic party the same thing, we’d be all good.)

Thank you for posting that. As soon as I saw the picture of him just casually relaxing on a gurney with a vape pen clutched in his hand, I knew there was no “stabbing.” Additional evidence: no blood anywhere. Final evidence: not in emergency surgery.

Michael Avenatti is fast becoming my favorite lawyer ever. All he does all day is go on the cable shows Trump watches and troll the shit out of him on an hourly basis. Someday, in the brand new Resistance Plaza in D.C. (after the coming purge), Avenatti will get his own memorial statue. 

LOL no, no they fucking wouldn’t. And check out the blonde girl in the background looking like this mofo might die LOL.

I know, when you look at the pictures again, you’re like “Would they really let him pile all of those blankets on his stomach if he’d just recently been stabbed? Or vape?

The brilliance of this move is just awe-inspiring.

If people are stabbing him, the security’s not working!

I’m pretty sure that screenshot is all of us.

lol you don’t really need to be a druggie to eat a little molly at a party. Or, I mean, idk, what does druggie mean?

So all the heteros watching sprortsballs can stop questioning their homoerotic thrills by having scantily clad women give them the “No Homo” pass.

I also find it bizarre to pretend that “getting this body back” doesn’t mean a few trips to the plastic surgeon. I’m sure before and after pics will be presented as if getting plastic surgery is an accomplishment or something, and that’s weird as hell.

Honestly, I think I’d FILL my clear bag with tampons, condoms, hemorrhoid cream, Nickleback cds, lube, and other assorted sundries just to make the clear-bag-decision-makers uncomfortable.

Clear bags make me furious. Some retailers require their employees to use them. You can put a makeup bag in your clear bag and poof- no more clear bag, but if you suddenly need to buy a box of tampons- there they are for everyone to see. Honestly, if a kid wanted to bring something illegal to school, they could wrap…

Clear bags are stupid. Is everything in the bag going to be clear? No everything will not be clear.

I saw him at The Bungalows in Santa Monica once with a gaggle of 6’ women under 25. They seemed to think he was really charming. As an outsider, watching a 45 year old man entertain a bunch of 22 year olds was less charming.