Speaking of advanced age...Jesus that one woman who is 31...you would think she limped out on the ice with a walker or something by the way they talk about her. I’m half expecting the morgue to come try to pick her up after the games.

The 14 year olds who’ve been kept in the training dungeon since birth and are living out the fantasies of creeptastic middle age male “coaches” are hard to watch. This shit is refreshing.

I don’t know if it’s his relatively advanced age (Olympic rookie at 28) or just his personality, but his DGAF-ness is off the charts and I love it.

You’re missing out on a ground-floor opportunity in the exciting essential oil sales industry.

No one wants another bad movie with awful puns like “Lawrence of my labia.”

There is nothing wrong with focusing on the US team. But whey they cut meaningful coverage for this, it is crap.

Jason Kennedy seemed like the guy who wasn’t picked by any fraternity but after they got turned down by the people they wanted to bid so they had slots open and the house needs x amounts of pledges to pay for the house so whatever here’s your bid.

E!’s defense is laughable. Like I want to laugh until it ends in screaming.

Different lens = penis

Different lens?!?! What lens is that? An idiotic one? Jason Kennedy is as dumb as a box of rocks. I used to watch E! News religiously (don’t judge me) so I have a strong opinion on this. Catt had issues too, but she was at least smart sounding on the show.

Maybe her full name is actually Stormantha.

They’re on their way to becoming certified monorail engineers.

I love how folks don’t understand that the Second Wave siblings aren’t even in the grown kids’ minds most of the time. — Child of Divorce, My Sisters Are Closer to My Kid’s Age, Ain’t Nobody Paying Attention to Them But My StepMonster.

The sentence ““‘Stormi’ is short for Storm.” realllllly makes my brain hurt. Thanks US Weekly! Adding something =/= making it shorter.

Just be careful you don’t inhale any!

You don’t need to be technically brilliant to write excellent pop songs. You just need to have a good ear, know three chords, and how to turn a phrase. Everyone in the Beatles was really good at all those things.

It always makes me laugh when they do this “gasp! We would never! Here are the buzzwords we think will get us out of this.” reaction. Fuck off, bros. We all know what mainstream frats* are like, and they’re garbage.

Ok, here goes this warning I broadcast as often as possible when the super thin eye brow convo comes up:

I’d be ok with having the body I had in 2007 again, just none of the fashions, please!

no...no...dear jesus god no...I was 22 and tan and had virtually no eyebrows in 2007 and I don’t wanna go back. I can’t go back.