When one of my good friends from high school finally came out to us it was an emotional thing for him and us all. After the tears and hugs and such my other friend said bluntly to break the ice “We always sorta kind of suspected but based on your terrible fashion sense we figured you were just really bad with girls”.…

Listen, Bob - if the gay people in your life haven’t stopped you from leaving the house looking like a boxcar hobo who collapsed on a Walgreen’s 4th of July display, then they’re definitely not your friends.

Hey, what’s in the box? None of your beeswax.

You positively wax poetic!

“Rival Stings B-level Influencer with Spilt Tea (and Honey)”

they were hoping the readers would swarm...

Oh, Honey. 

Surprised you didn’t put the puns in the title.

If I had the money, I’d have a Morgan.

I don't know if there's any car company that I unabashedly love as much as Morgan. 

Youablian Pluma

Interviewer: What do you know about navigating tight canals?

Unfortunately Mitzi, the blonde on the left, was outed as a non-believer just interested in getting in the back seat with Ingmar. This is the last known picture of Mitzi.

GTR-X?

I’ll do my best to make this dream a reality.

Put a family photo in there. I’d have thought you’d think of that Ottomatically.

I don’t care what anybody says, the 914 is totally underrated.

I vase expecting about as much, so the result wasn’t as jar-ring as it might have been.

Puns like this are why Jalopnik is going to pot.

That urned out about like I expected