I’d totally watch a show where you solved auto-related mysteries. Call it Encyclopedia Brown Manual Wagon.

I spent almost $500 to put 4 new tires on my $500 wagon last fall. They replaced a set of used tires bought for $150 the year before. Those used tires where starting to crack despite theoretically having a few more years. Decided I wasn’t going to play this game every year and spent the money to be able to put it out…

I’m sure the piston the mechanic showed me was from my RX7

You will pry my Cheetos Chicken Sandwich from my cold dead hands! Probably with a couple bites taken out of it. Because it’s what killed me.

until the colonel removes the cheeto chicken sandwich, a restaurant will be destroyed every night. this i swear to you

SWEET GRANDMOTHER-TYPE PASSERBY (sing-song voice): “Is this your car?”
KID: (about to take a sip, but lowers bottle): “Who’s asking?”
PASSERBY: “Oh. I just meant—”
KID: “—I know what you meant. How about you keep it moving and drop the ‘Murder, She Wrote’ interrogation,  Angela Nagsbury.”
PASSERBY: “Well aren’t you an…

It appears the kid with the milk, looked suddenly at something to his right.

Wow, didn’t expect to see a Panhard PL17 wagon here. This is my dad’s, brought over from Belgium a few years ago. It’s nestled between a Dyna X familiale and a Dyna Z in southeast Michigan. 

Officers on scene were unable to determine if the driver was sober, as he refused to speak, exited the vehicle, stood stock still for a second, then fell over. His injuries consisted of a large swelling on the top of his head, and a number of asterisks orbiting his head. Upon inspection of the vehicle, deputies noted…

“I got out of the car at the other end feeling old, fat, talentless, and slow.“

Technically correct, which is the best kind of correct.

He was slumped over on his gold toilet with a PBJ in one hand and a half-finished tweet on his phone in the other. His nose was rimmed with a white powder and two terrified and pee-soaked hookers wearing Ivanka wigs were huddled in the corner of his bedroom muttering in Russian.

If I were a huge RX-7 fanboy I would totally wankel to this.

That top photo/that face made me realized what I would love to see: Since drift is a pretty silly form of motorsport that doesn’t take itself overly seriously and has pretty lax regulations, a team should hook up pupils to the headlights that move when the steering moves, LIKE THIS!

Try going back to the original shorts

BMW drivers dream to have this level of asshat parking job

Can’t say I have ever given this any thought, but you have me convinced that you are absolutely correct.

The world is just a series of Jeep Grand Wagoneers holding up onther Jeep Grand Wagoneers. There is no end. What’s underneath the Jeep Grand Wagoneer beneath the Jeep Grand Wagoneer?

Arsenio: Akim! Our cars are being taken!