“Okay in this photo I want you to look like your paralyzed. Imagine Giselle just picked you up out of your wheelchair and set you on the couch before readjusting you... but in like a sexy way.”

Let me then say that using Greg Hardy as the other end of the spectrum was just foolish

There has to be someone affiliated with Deadspin that can pull off the mannerisms and affectations of an adolescent attendee.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling Seahawks fans to suck it.

Wow, so I’m not crying at my desk or anything.... The Earth is so beautiful. It just goes to show you how much we take for granted. This was amazing; thank you for sharing. :)

That Nigel doesn’t even have the right mustache. Here’s a good one

I refuse to believe that y-inverters are human.

Sure they do. Now you’ll probably tell me “tablet” refers to some kind of electronic device.

I hate the term “Meghan Trainor” and I think she should be banned.

Josh Johnson, Quarterback Finalist

“both sides working against a clock”

Something, something, they hate us cause they ain’t us?

Before any Patriots fans comment:

Last night, she retired after 649 consecutive games.

You must be fun at parties

The Chargers must be really excited about the prospect of getting that close to a Lombardi Trophy.

The A’s could make it to the World Series and “sadsack” would still be an accurate descriptor.

9/11? Seriously? No one can use smoke anyone more without you thinking that? lol

This is exactly how you end up living with your auntie and uncle in a town called Bel Air.

Day: What the fuck did I do?