It’s nice to know that there’s at least one professional athlete getting laid less often than me.

It means he talks about how great it is all the time, but really it’s just irritating and useless.

In Ben Roethlisberger’s first Super Bowl win, he didn’t even have the best passer rating on his team.

The other end of that is when companies brag about “range.” Jeep is quick to point out that the Grand Cherokee has “a range of over 600 highway miles on one tank,” but fail to mention that it has a cavernous 24-gallon tank to accomplish that.

Somewhere along the line, I picked up the notion that the chains hanging down underneath buses and trucks were to dispel static electricity. You can even see them sparking when they hit the road!

“Unwritten rules,” summed up: you can be really good at baseball, but don’t you dare have fun.

It also looks remarkably like a bus.

Goalies are loathe to criticize other goalies

I mean by that logic, you could go back like five years if you knew what to bet on. Uber, Instagram, AirBnB, etc.

Can we start a Jalopnik crowdfund to buy out sponsorship for an F1 car so we can just paint it matte black instead?

So even if the other team had hit every FG, and every one was a 3, and they’d hit all their free throws, they’d still have lost by 20.

“Embellishing” has to be the best penalty in sports.

In the context of the question, I think the GLORY BOY approach is the correct one. Which would be the streak.

Playing Minions music without warning should be a capital offense.

Possible sampling bias, but it seems to be more common in trucks and stuff (I’ve noticed it in U-Hauls a lot, which are mostly E-350s underneath), where you might need to be powering something like a light while working.

I’m slightly worried that procedural generation could lead to bland tracks

The human element, folks.

I like this. Except we all know Belichick would wait until he was down 2 with 15 seconds left and cash in 75 yards of field position for the game-winning chip shot.

Except wait, can the opposing coach then cash in all his yardage to push them back?

Who’s it for? Who should buy this, and not a Camry or Corolla or Sienna?

I’ve been doing a minor version of this for years. As my cold-weather peers know, sometimes it’s not cold enough to freeze when you go to bed. Snow falls on your warm car, melts, freezes later, and leaves little ice bumps that are a nightmare to scrape off.

To prevent that, leave a towel on the windshield, either…