I have this weird vision of a photographer waiting in a hunter’s blind, mournfully blowing into a duck call while the bridal party floats by in the early morning chill..

How’s about one played by an actress that doesn’t stink?

All I can think of is the middle name gag in “The Producers”.

When she was that age, I used to send my daughter with a thermos filled with 3/4 milk, 1/4 coffee and a tiny squeeze of chocolate or dusting of cinnamon...she loved iced coffee drinks but didn’t like plain milk. I figured it was better for her than the sugary chocolate milk they had in the cafeteria.

This sums up that feel for me with certain of my relatives.

I like Topo Chico with a squeeze of lemon or lime. Delish!

It’s one thing to hire someone to do two jobs and pay them for it. In my current job, I wear a number of hats. But when they want to hire you for a lower-paid position AND have you do both jobs, it’s time to run.

When you’re in an interview and they start talking about how maybe you’re not right for job “A”, but we have this other job...
Dude, I saw the admin listing on the site. I did not apply for the admin job. I have no experience as an admin. Sure, I could probably admin the shit out of your company, but that’s not the job…

Add a beehive hairdo to it!

LOL. Every time I hear about how this brand is entwined with class, privilege and money, I have to laugh quietly to myself. My poor-as-dirt granny from the midwest used to make and wear simple dresses like the ones in this line in similarly bright floral prints. Now I know she was just channeling her inner heiress. ;)

I actually prefer Rockwell’s nonchalant sandwich-muncher to the “We Can Do It” poster. It’s just so playful, yet strong.
I used to dismiss Rockwell as “corny americana”. Then I got a job at a place that printed licensed merch of his stuff I started really LOOKING at the art. In addition to having excellent technique,…

This kind of thing is why I would really like it if there were a program that would provide free surgical sterilization to any person, male or female, upon request.
If folks are worried about people changing their minds afterward, well, throw in a provision that maybe the free procedure is only available to people with…

I do a fair amount of work on my newish Mini...not as much as I’d like because of a too-small garage. My husband tinkers with the settings on his Corvette all the time. He has different settings for his stop-n-go commute and highway driving that give him just a better mpg.

I have a plan that involves a new tree, a motion detector, a slingshot and some badgers....

I think it has to do with rationing during WWII. Oil and margarine were easier to get than butter. Then came the rise of cake mixes in the 1950’s which were developed with shelf-stable ingredients in mind.

Personally, I’d have just bought angel food cake and had done with it. Since it’s based on an egg white foam, oils…

I work as a graphic designer. A few years back, a client was being a real pain, not providing examples of the colors she wanted, but sending layouts back with notes like, “Should have a bright mistiness like 11:30 on a spring morning!” or “These greens need a bit of pink shimmer to them!”. And finally, “I want it all…

Austin County near Houston, not City of Austin.

Our neighborhood apparently had a major rat problem about 5 years before we moved in. Which is why it’s a feral-friendly community now.

Why don’t we send her on an all expenses paid elephant hunting trip?
*hides canister of angry male elephant pheromones*

I will never understand the desire to have a bunch of children all at once. Visiting a household with more than two children under school age is like being in the hellish end of purgatory. There is no actual visiting, just herding a horde of sticky little people around all the time. I also feel like closely spaced…