Still better than all the Transformers films combined.

its like i drank a bottle of ipecac and vomited up my entire childhood but instead of vomit it was actually chocolate ice cream, bacon, 12 year old scotch and roundhouse kicks.

Don’t forget it comes with the requisite epic 80’s music video with The Hoff himself

Disappointingly, what if there is no Matrix?

Which is fine. What most scientists really object to is prematurely jumping to conclusions on mysteries before all the facts are in.

Yes, but how much is a guy going to mature when he doesn’t get punished for it and instead his sisters are blamed?

Recidivism rates for murder are notoriously low (as compared to other crimes).

I so want a spring loaded set that launches a gummy, sticky, cuddly face hugger toy at your face.

Only if they keep the velvet suit.

I’d much rather see a Venture Bros movie.

I remain vehemently indifferent.

You forgot about the “Cold Fusion device” ACTUALLY COOLING DOWN A VOLCANO. (which we are told, btw, that if it erupts "The planet dies!")

Zod had no reason to Kryptoform the planet, there was no reason for Lois Lane to be taken aboard Zod’s ship, and the priest scene served no purpose other then to physically shove the Jesus symbolism down the audience’s throat like we’re goldfish.

Setting aside Bones finding a cure for death, we’ve also got the gratuitous T&A shot of Carol Marcus, Khan using a secret identity when it didn’t matter, and Spock being told how to save the day by future Spock only after also being filled in on why Khan is the greatest villain the Enterprise had ever known.