And make sure you call real 911 and not the bullshit campus emergency number.

the higher nutrient level in the water created a bacteria in the soil

The Cool Ranch taco is a huge misfire.

Why exactly do we treat Polanski differently than Bowie?

a race that is expected to be one of the most costly in Maine history.

there just some behaviors that you cannot accept

SHOCKED that Undressed wasn’t paying the bills.

I have a screenshot too just in case anyone wants to challenge that it was said against the radio.

Have you actually met a dog? They bite.

To be fair, this headline is technically, eventually, true for most California men.

Calling a shaved head “a new hairdo” is like calling abstinence a form of contraception.

Oh my god, do you know how silly you look with this “you never really know how potent homemade edibles are” FUD?

Stop. Capitalizing. Seasons.

Waste while you’re sitting? Electric cars don’t idle.

Didn’t Michael Scott try this on The Office?

Trying to resolve the rest of his wrongness with his very correct point that IPAs are utter bullshit.

Since when are tomatoes red?

Criss Angel is a real-life Nick Kroll character.

58 is middle-aged? That’s friggin’ elderly.