That’s precisely the back-pedal explanation Trump gave last night: He claims he didn’t propose arming teachers, he proposed allowing teachers who have military training to carry arms into the classroom at the ready.

You are correct, I was wrong. I never suspected it was in the literal definition: I expected it to be in advertising restrictions and trade laws. But, nope. None that I can find.

The trade laws of many countries specify that the term “bourbon” can only be applied to qualifying products made in Kentucky. Not every country follows that rule, and even American companies can label products sold overseas as bourbon regardless of point of origin.

So far, every single Lando toy I’ve seen has one eyebrow raised.

My favorite announcer comment so far this Olympics: “Curling, like Golf, was invented by the Scots, who excel at creating games where people yell at inanimate objects.”

A friend who was a very observant once argued that people never stop liking the music they were listening to around the first time they get laid. They might keep finding new things to enjoy, but no matter how bad their taste was at that time, they never stop listening to music that was their favorite at that point of…

Ahh, the ennui is overwhelming...

We hold parades to welcome soldiers home, not to show off our authority.

The better to waddle with...

That is probably the funniest actual clip of Jeopardy I’ve ever seen. But then, I’m from Texas, where if you couldn’t answer at least two of those five questions, you’re lucky to have survived growing up at all.

I read “Tom Landry” and heard absolutely nothing in your head. Apparently it is well insulated. Good job!

It took Nissan a year and a half to get parts to replace my passenger side air bag (they recommended “Don’t put passengers in the front passenger seat”), and now they’ve notified me that they need to replace the driver’s side bag as well (no recommendation), but still don’t have kits for that repair and don’t expect…

Once again, life imitates art.

Ajit Pai - “B-b-but you’re taking potential profits out of the pockets of the companies that are going to give me money when I leave this job!”

That should be carved into the facade of the Donald Trump Presidential Library (which will contain only coloring books and The Art of The Deal.).

AN official mental fitness examination has a question on it from a Second Grade Reading Comprehension test? Good lord, at least make him take a PSAT.

And Another Thing read like a fan-service effort which took great pains to assemble a collection of story beats so that the author could mimic Adams writing style, yet it never actually managed to be funny.

I want Alan Rickman’s voice on my voicemail.

Nope. I loved both versions. No need to choose a favorite. (I loved the radio play, too.)

Nope. I loved both versions. No need to choose a favorite. (I loved the radio play, too.)