I love the novel “It!” (apart from the aforementioned sex scene). But the honest truth is that King has never written children well. He writes little adults who like fart jokes. The sometimes talk like kids, they sometimes act like kids, but they never respond like kids. They react the same way his adult heroes do.

This was Stephen King at the height of The Eighties, man. No editor in the world would have dared contradict him.

At that point of his career, King’s opinion pretty much override any concept any editor had. Remember, King was the textbook definition of the “Name Above The Title” authors, quite possibly the first of them. The man wrote with the velocity of a monkey on crack, and no matter what he wrote, it got published, because…

Sumlin is one of the best analysts in college sports. If you watch almost any Aggie game for the past five years, A&M has come into the first half better prepared than their opponent - and for two quarters, they usually breeze through them. The problem is that almost every single time, their opponent makes…

Mario began his career as Fixit-Felix.

Contestant number 2, are you not, in fact, a global roomba?

Cross pollination.

If I lived in constant fear of insane conspiracy theories AND negative feedback from my own astoundingly unethical behavior, I’d be terrified of reality too.

Oh, don’t worry about education: Betsy DeVos just hired the CEO of DeVry to investigate education fraud - including DeVry.

I’m waiting for some jackass to claim that a well-designed wall would have kept the floodwaters out.

So, 40 months in prison for the engineer “tasked with” coming up with the hack. How much time for the executives that gave him that order?

Q.

If your plan is to keep “criminals” from getting their hands on guns, just how did they become “criminals”? Congress is only looking to prevent second offenses? Thanks a lot, Ryan. You’re a big help.

Better make sure that black cloth is flame retardant.

The featured gif shows what happened: The mustang tried to pull past the pickup already doing donuts before he turned. Bad timing, still a colossal dumbass, but it wasn’t deliberately aiming at the crowd. Trying to drive away sealed his fate. If he’d jumped out, swore he was sorry as he immediately moved to help…

By making your genitals available for groping.

I love the bit with the tuba. If you’ve got a decent tuba player rockin’ it, it’s almost impossible for your steps to not fall into his rhythm, which makes it look like you’re cooperating with him making you look silly.

Supremacists are like petulant toddlers: Removing monuments isn’t solving their behavior issues, it’s just taking away a few of their toys.

Share good pictures, but SAVE EVERYTHING. Someday, your descendants will thank you.

Your grandkids will. Your great-great grandkids might.