During any moment in which a woman doesn’t have another woman’s thighs wrapped around her ears, she’s technically straight. It’s all very logical.

I wouludn’t so much call this “silent.”

Bingo!

“I have done more for the cause of advancing women’s rights than any of the people who are criticizing me. So why the fuck aren’t you all over my dick, you ungrateful bitches?”

His whole spiel how he has “done more for the cause of advancing women’s rights” immediately set me on edge. You knew what was coming after that.

“i offered to help your career” is a thing a weird producer tells you before asking you to the casting couch

Mantrum: man throws fit because woman does not instantly seize upon his attention like a barnacle to a slave ship.

Alright, here’s my anti-sympathy anecdote for Milkshake Lady:

I’m glad I’m not alone, because sometimes I think my humor in trauma is sick even though it feels natural to me. Something that I think about a lot—I had a daughter who passed away in infancy and on the day of her memorial my husband and I were in the pastor’s office prior to the start of the service. I didn’t know…

Starbucks scammer, street eating scumbags, both drive thru biatches.

You should have reminded her before her second anniversary that brides have a year to write thank you notes for gifts given so if she wrote one ASAP she’d still be within the acceptable time period. Because that amount of awful requires some next-level snark in return.

Everything about this woman oozes “Your unstable former co-worker named Holly.” Like, you can imagine people having a conversation about her in the break room

I read it on the internet so it must be true. It’s illegal to put lies on the Internet.

Go into a bathroom and turn off the lights. Light a candle and throw water on the bathroom mirror. Then say forcefully:

Anyone who thinks Obama ISN’T center right hasn’t been paying any attention whatsoever to Obama.

Don’t trust anyone over 30, amirite?!?!??

America doesn’t know what the left looks like. We think a person who doesn’t devote the majority of their time to legislating against abortion is axiomatically a leftist.

Obama IS center-right.