Let’s hope the fact that she hired an attorney means NBC is fighting her payout. Maybe a “don’t be openly racist, dumbass” clause.

Another good guy with a gun. Until he wasn’t.

Your phone’s pedometer app can count thrusts for you.

“it stays internally lubricated way longer”

I thought it was talking about the internal lubrication of the condom?

Could be worse I guess......could have lost a dinosaur instead...

Got an image in my head of an owl biting off a penis. Thank you for that.

Let’s find out.
ah—-one.
Two!!!!
Three.

Three.

Wait, it got lost? Got some freakin condom snatching ninjas in your house?

I legit cackled at “dick and regret” and now everyone is looking at me funny...

As I sit here, with my flies undone, because I am 16 weeks pregnant, because the condom got...um... “lost”... I am inclined to agree. 

Much the same as adult me walks through the toy aisle at a Target and thinks, “Jesus, my poor ass had to make dirt people* for fun. Kids these days have all the good toys!”, Married me reads this article and feels much the same for all the singles and swingers out there. They get all the fun new stuff. Granted,…

I think it’s more like an Elvis impersonator - at this point they have their own stereotypical image they have to like up to, which completely divorced from what Elvis ever actually looked like. Similarly the pose doesn’t look like a penis, but it does have the accurate shape and proportion to penis pasta.

He has totally captured the essence of his subject.

Lol but like why would your go-to comparison be penis pasta and not, y’know, a penis?

Looks like she just farted in the tub.

I’m so entirely sick of seeing her naked. Yeah I get all the things people say.....she can do whenever she wants, she’s empowered, she loves her body, she’s hot, she shouldn’t be shamed because of it, it doesn’t matter that she had kids it’s still ok for her to be naked, she can promote herself anyway she wants, yeah…

I’m confused; I don’t know if I should be hungry or horny

Wow these are terrible. wth

Cramming cocks in your mouth has never been so satisfying.