Oh, thank you for saying this! I thought I was the only one. I have two different- sized Lunettes and two regular-sized DivaCups. Sometimes those fuckers just aren't going in. And then you're late for work, et cetera. But, I know, I know: the choir sings, "What problems? I just blah, blah, blah… I'm so in touch…

I don't know if red is unacceptable at weddings, but I wore a long red satin sheath (red is my favorite color) off the sale rack from Anthropologie to a friend's wedding once. Her relatives from out of town were full of daggers. It took me a while to figure out what my possible infraction was. We're no longer friends.

I'm enjoying the trashing of the gowns you and others are doing. I had no idea that "crystal-encrusted gowns with see-through bodices" were a thing until now, and damnit, I'd like three of each, please. I fucking love both of those dresses. But, then, I got married in a courthouse in green sequins. Hate all you…

And I just snickered and cackled out loud. "LOL problems"; true beauty in that.

I find people mainly use "lol" or "Lol" when they have nothing useful to contribute. It's one of those "then why say anything at all?" things.

My point is: "Lol" just makes everyone look stupid. Let's stop using it.

Good. Now that that's settled, can we start executing people that use "LOL" and "lol". I mean, my MIL seems pretty smart, but when she writes "lol" on Fakebook? Well, I'm ready to get bust the guillotine out.

Another 29th reporting in. It was a tradition with many family members to give me christmas ornaments and pieces of an age-inappropriate ceramic christmas village for my birthday, and open those presents on christmas eve, when we celebrated christmas. Not going to lie: hearing my mom say so many years, "I wanted to…

Another one for the Myspace secret! I was initially cautious when this random guy sent me a friend request, but then I saw that he also loved a (now defunct) local feminist punk band, so I decided to accept him. Some messages, months later, we ran into each other at a local show. Apparently he was absolutely…