LOTS OF PEOPLE ARE SAYING I’M GETTING A GIANT WAFFLE CONE...IF YOU TALK TO PEOPLE OUT THERE- AND THERE ARE MANY, MANY PEOPLE WHO WANT ME TO HAVE TWO DESSERTS. ICE CREAM AND COOKIES, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? WELL BELIEVE ME, WE’RE HAVING DESSERT AND IT’S GOING TO BE BIGLY. AN AMAZING AMOUNT OF DESSERT, AND ITS LEADING TO A…

“I guess we’ll see, Daddy, if I’m having ice cream for dessert or not. The committee hasn’t come back yet. I haven’t asked Mommy. Mommy might say I get two scoops, so you don’t know that for sure yet. I might get all the ice cream, strawberry, vanilla, chocolate, lots of flavors. Neapolitan. We’re just not sure, but…

I’ve become convinced that reality is broken.

Clark Kent has won many prestigious awards for his reports and stories. However his work really pales in comparison to the work of his wife, who unlike Kent, never throws softballs at her interview subjects.

I wouldnt know anything about that.

That’s just journalist Clark Kent. Is he some kind of hero? I’ve never thought his Planet stuff was particularly heroic, so unless he has some kind of secret identity that nobody has told me about, I don’t see what you are getting at.

All the stars for you.

You gotta see what Kellyane Conweigh is wearing today. It looks like something from an 80's talent show with a 4th of July theme. Or maybe she got a tailor to make her an American Girl outfit.

PEEOTUS

alternate headline:

Even Trump would conclude, he has the best words.

To make Mythopoetic Stew:

I’m tired of my Facebook feed getting cluttered with false equivalency. “Both candidates are bad, can we get a do over? Lol!”

“He who controls the spice, controls the universe!”

I remember reading this shortly after hearing this: http://www.snopes.com/canned-pumpkin-isnt-actually-pumpkin/

Cremo is great for sensitive skin. Too bad it didn't make the top 5.

Cremo is great for sensitive skin. Too bad it didn't make the top 5.