God, what an unbelievable waste of time. I get it, but ugh.

The Super Bowl wasn’t on Tuesday, as far as I know. Is everyone who has something they need attention brought to in Minnesota just supposed to sit on their thumbs for several weeks because the Super Bowl is happening?

I ruined a ghost tour in Charleston on my honeymoon by knowing more about history, fashion, and the law than our guide. Mother fucker, do NOT be telling people that someone was in a white wedding dress in 1800. Also, it has never been against the law in any jurisdiction to execute a married woman. That’s just…

The existence of Dr. Huxtable makes everything worse, really. Cosby spent years in that skin, being Cliff, and acted the way a moral, good man would act. This just proves that he had every chance, every responsibility to act like a good person, and even had PRACTICE and yet STILL did the reprehensible things he did.

I worry about this child so fucking much. After reading what Natalie Portman went through, my first thought was Millie.

I remember when Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra got married in Vegas and then had it annulled. At the time, the only reason I knew you could get a marriage annulled was lack of consummation of said union. I remember mentioning to my mother that the lovebirds probably never consummated their marriage and that’s how…

Dammit, I knew being a normally-blooming nerd would have a drawback sooner or later.

I was with you until the Journal mentioned street lamps. I mean, shit, what more proof do you need that these structures aren’t malls?! You can’t just put a street lamp any old place, you know.

Man, I’ve never even accidentally been invited to a sex party, I feel left out. Should I move to New York or something? This seems like a New York thing.

Hey, what do you do if you have the world’s worst memory and know that you got a flu shot recently but have no memory of when that was? Like, should I get another one?

What does that have to do with anything?

She’s a “Contemporary Christian” musician.

What does that have to do with anything?

The Root is the tits.

I do know that in some cases, employers considered themselves responsible for their employees’ mental health. I remember reading about women committed to asylums in the 1800s and a lot of them were committed by their employers.

Excellent point.

I was just reviewing that to see if I remembered correctly when it went out of style and I was right, the 50s.

I don’t know, I think maybe in the 50s, but the 70s?

The mental gymnastics that must be required in order to make that statement to a reporter are staggering to contemplate. Did he really think that anyone would think “a doctor told me a spanking from her boss would help her anxiety” actually fucking happened?!

That’s good. It just seemed like you said your friend sacrificed all her goals to be with her husband and then later you found out it was because he basically forced her to do it. And your conclusion was that she chose that life because she didn’t want to be alone.