The bug is in the over-the-air update module.

“That bill effectively prevents”
 
Why do you think the stuck the word “effectively” in there? It’s because it still allows the debt to be discharged for hardship. Such as poor health.

Larger institutions would be much more accessible if they weren’t crammed with students who should be attending community college.

It’s part of a solution. Discounting it because it is not a complete solution is a bit disingenuous.

“They’d have to pay someone with a 3D scanner “

Only 3? Out of millions of millennials whining about their student loans? See the problem?

Student loans can be discharged. Look it up.

“being able to get through college without a mountain of debt isn’t a bad thing either”

“Parking lights do not define the state of the car”

“Clearly you blindly only go by the rule “

If you were coming from behind me

Assuming a car is parked because it has PARKING lights on seems incredibly dangerous.

“We think the vehicle in question looks like it could be a pre-facelift Dodge Journey”

The images could be from security cameras three blocks away. Although the overhead shots would seem to indicate otherwise.

Why do you think minivans have sliding doors in the back?

“You obviously don’t have kids.”

Wait - so you parked so close - that at 6'2" you could get out of the vehicle no problem, but couldn’t get your kid out?

Dodged a bullet

UConnect Engineer: We’ve made progress. There’s good news and bad news.
FCA Management: What’s the good news?
UConnect : We’ve isolated the bug, and we have a fix for it.
FCA Management: Terrific. What’s the bad news?
UConnect Engineer: The bug is in the over-the-air updates module.

Look at the video. Now that you have the doors open - how in the heck are you going to get in there to get your kids out of their carseats? Falcon doors were a solution looking for a problem.