Duck Fuckers!

“But with the Yankees playing .500 ball, why not let him hit and try for 700 homers?”

Sadly, I agree with you here. Maybe your party pooping antics would be unwelcome if he had actually landed the thing...but he didn’t! Who the fuck cares about a cool dunk that almost happened?

Sorry, I’m not going to get excited about an “almost dunk” over a team that is far inferior.

You misspelled “javelin”

“Still pleaded for fewer fifths than I have.” - Vin Baker

Too bad Crosby would be protected in the expansion draft.

“Brexit? I had Brexit this morning. I had surreal and toast. And then I had a Sam ham witch for lurch”

“Ugh...tell me about it." - MJ's Dad

Going 0-for-6 makes Smith kind of like the opposite of Michael Jordan, but to be fair, Michael was pretty bad at gambling too.

They were shouting it at Ochoa after 5-0.

Where’s your chant now, assholes?

Star Polygon {5/2} for you, good sir

Tony Martial
Came from France
English press said he had no chance
50m down the drain
as Tony Martial scores again!

Tony Marshall scores again...

It’s more than that. An automatic spot in next year’s champions league group stage comes with winning the “second-tier trophy”

I don't think he's quite qualified to give tours, mate.

What must Steve do?

Fun, true, fact: About forty years ago the Australian Prime Minister Harold Holt went swimming in the ocean and just disappeared. Like, he’s never been seen or heard from since. Nada. I don’t have a joke, but I don’t feel like this needs one.

Billy’s writing is the Ted Cruz of Deadspin.