FTFY

It makes sense that the witch hunt is spreading into other industries where witches might be found. And by witches I mean male witches, or warlocks as they are sometimes called—grooms of Satan, I suppose.

“This isn’t a guns situation,” Trump said as he directed the blame at the behavior of a “very deranged individual [with] a lot of problems over a long period of time.”

He survived the massacre and then gets injured like this?

Quite to the opposite, it sounds like the Colorado Wal-Mart shooting a few days earlier was made into (more of) a clusterfuck by people all pulling guns, making it harder for the police to figure out who was the active shooter.

“This is a mental health issue at the highest level. I propose a fantastic healthcare plan that provides virtually no mental health benefits. Am I not the greatest president in the history of the cosmos? Now, I must go berate our great little Jap allies for sending so much sushi to America....”

Reporter: Can you tell us how it feels to both start and finish with yourself?

Parkey: Feels? I guess a little lonely sometimes, but that is a kicker for you. These guys have groupies lined up around the block and can get into the hot clubs for free, but kickers... unless we are in a relationship we’re used to taking…

“My grandpa didn’t cross an ocean and risk his life to destroy Fascism, just so he could come home and see mass gatherings where every single person didn’t pledge total fealty to the homeland.”

The seaman has left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth.

That is one helluva response.

Fun Fact: There are people that believe Sandy Hook never actually happened and it was all made up.

- The National Anthem before NFL games

What a dumbass. If he had just beaten up his girlfriend or child like a normal NFL player instead of smoking weed, he would have been reinstated a lot sooner.

Hey, this dude and I share a birthday! That is sort of cool!

Or the “Say Goodbye To Your Deductions For 401k Contributions, Mortgage Interest, Student Loan Interest, and State and Local Taxes... In Fact Just Resign Yourself To The Fact That You Will Never Retire And When You Are Carried Out Of Your Job In A Pine Box When You Die On The Job Your Paycheck Will Be Calculated To…

Thats not how this works. Thats not how any of this works.

We only got one season of Cupid out of him. His usefulness to me has ended.

Newsflash: Birth control PREVENTS abortions. If you hate abortion, you should be in favor of as much free birth control as possible.