SATAN WAS PHONE!

OMGGG NEVER LEAD SOMEONE TO YOUR HOUSE JFC

The best part is he’s pointing it out to Michelle but she is all: “Yeah. It’s a cute idea.. *shrug*” while the POTUS is doubled over dying. Such a dad. lol

I bet he’s cracked up at least 3 times today just remembering this.

When I was young our house was broken into and I noticed the intruder hiding under my moms bed by looking in a floor length mirror she had. Guess who’s not a fan of using a bed frame?

I was surprised that the the O’Hare airport hook up story didn’t get chosen. I thought that was one of the scariest!

Obama interacting with babies...like I really love him for a lot of reasons but seeing a guy with all that power who has such genuine interactions with children is just....dammit I’m gonna miss him!

So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is “wut r u doing wit my daughter?” U tell ur girl n she say “my dad is ded”. THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

For me it’s the fact that he was so controlled about it that he could be like, didn’t go according to plan? K, boldy say bye and head out for the next round. GAH. So much premeditation.

For whatever reason, I was the most terrified by the mental image of a would-be attacker crawling on the floor. Just fucking terrifying.

I spent an entire evening last week reading all of the comments and then the previous years stories and scared myself so hard. Bf was very annoyed that he essentially had to babysit me for the night. I’m sure he will be thrilled about this!

Gibson’s best response would to be gracious just like when the late Sen. Robert Byrd was continually confronted by his KKK past, “I know now I was wrong. Intolerance had no place in America. I apologized a thousand times ... and I don’t mind apologizing over and over again. I can’t erase what happened.”

I’m sure his current lunatic wizard look isn’t helping him land too many roles.

Seriously. Like, the Heathers were the stereotypical Perfect Girls (tm) that everyone wanted to be and also hate ... so you could be happy that they were dead. I am kind of bummed that I’m supposed to be rooting for a white hetero couple to kill a black lesbian, a gender-queer guy, and a fat girl ...

SERIOUSLY. By making the movie’s outsiders the Mean Girls, they’re no longer outsiders, and it’s impossible to root for them because they’re the Mean Girls, so... we’re left with conventionally attractive, heteronormative, and socially adept people to root for? WAITAMINNIT.

Did they have a brain tumor for breakfast?

My children are grown men now, but for years their sworn quest was to figure out which neighbor was slipping this bullshit in with the Snickers.

If you are looking for a singular indication that a man is likely to escalate in his violence towards women......strangulation is it. There are men who commit domestic violence against their partners or who assault other women who may not ever be rehabilitated exactly, but who also never get much worse.

“I didn’t agree with the decision because I felt as though millennials and Gen-Y didn’t view nudity as the issue,” Cooper had said to BI. “The issue was the way in which the nudity and girls were portrayed.”