I asked him what happened when we got out of the elevator. He told me he was terrified because security was there.

Good for them. Not everybody will agree, obviously, but you have the platform so go ahead and use it.

If anyone wants to know more about her she does appear in Laura Jane Grace's True trans

My father is really bad with cats; once I placed an especially sweet, kissable kitten on his lap at a family party, and his hands curled up to his chest and he whispered "Please take it off of me, I don't know what it wants."

"They come for the atmosphere," Keilholz said. "They come because when you grow up around here, sooner or later your parents will drag you to Skyline and you learn at a young age to just love it."

"Classy" has completely imploded as a meaningful word. It's like someone saying, "I'm not racist, but..." It totally pegs you as the opposite of whatever you're saying you are/aren't.

The Twerp now has Barbie's at my house because her Nonah missed them. (Neither of my girls would play with them at all.) My biggest dog chewed off the legs of the lifeguard Barbie- the Twerp looked at them and said "she won't run so fast without her feet but at least it doesn't matter that her shoes are lost." Ah,…

Your poor Jordan. Mine just had orgies with the Barbies all the time. Ken was not invited.

My wife wants there to be a pygmy elephant. One that only gets around the size of a big dog or so. She says her life would be complete if she could have one as a pet.

I had a talking Barbie that somehow got thrown in a box and ended up with a garbled speakerbox and a swipe of red paint across her face. So I teased up her hair and made her a dress out of scraps of fur and VOILÀ! Barbarian Barbie complete with war paint and realistic grunting noises.

That's a really great point. I don't know a single child who actually just used Pet Shop Barbie or Teacher Barbie as a pet shop owner and a teacher, singularly. Sure, for the first few days after you'd gotten a new set, but after that? Nope. All Barbies were egalitarian and ended up mixed together in your bin, even…

This year is the very worst. I have been run out of Ferguson because my house is right next to the fires. I am crashing on an air mattress three hours away with my two dogs at my mother's house, a woman I try to limit my encounters with to twice a year at best for various reasons. Some highlights from yours truly, the…

It's not much of a horror story...

Ha, I have the same family. The types who blame feminazis for the breakdown of society, who are staunchly anti-abortion but pro-death penalty, and who think Obummer is trying to take all their guns and bibles and jobs and give them to his Muslim buddies.

Pretty sure I later snuck the said folding chair out of the house, into my car, and dumped it in the desert. Had to destroy the evidence.

Why must it be brie OR beer? I'd go both, myself.

It's plural, cheeses. That kid knows where it's at. There's nothing quite like a bountiful cheese platter to get the old heart all twitterpated.

I'm pretty sure this would work on me at 34. YES to cheese, sir. YES to robots.

One of the teens who took photos of her alleged rape pled guilty to manufacturing child pornography and was sentenced earlier this month to no jail time and no probation.