I can tell when my fiance is getting drunk because she’ll start talking about John Hamm’s penis like it’s Cecil the Lion.

See what happens when we stop being lazy (read: useless) and actually do what y’all NAG AND NAG about?!?!?!

I read that as Dogdge because of your avatar. Thank you for the giggle.

My mom used to peddle corn cobbers around town to make a few extra bucks on the side.

As a guy who could not approach a woman romantically if his life depended on it, this is true for any relationship. Get hardcore friendzoned, then wait. Waiting may take a week to 2 years. And when she denies your first attempt, wait some more then repeat.

#NotAllThermostats

Great point! I suppose that I’d be too wrapped up in my own shame to even think that someone could brush something like this off. Narcissists...am I right?

The situation regarding the NYC plane tickets...really?? Sounds like an honest mistake to me that can be rectified with a phone call. In no way was it intentional! It sounds like the author of the original piece is really fun at parties. Knock it off.

As a Marlins fan, I haven’t purchased a jersey of any player since I got a Miguel Cabrera and Josh Beckett jersey in 2004. I’m waiting for Mr. Loria to put Stanton down... behind the homerun celebration statue.

Kobe: *skips song from iPod*

As an uber driver*...when I see surge pricing, I get a surge in my pants. I can’t help it.

Last Summer, my father in law’s 1975 ford ranger died.

This is sound protocol for any regulated industry. I’m in Biotech. This is what we do except changing out some nouns and verbs.

Clearly the Holy Hand Grenade had some sort of radioactive effect on killer bunny’s pregnant wife....

The story is heartbreaking, but I’m happy you could find a silver lining out of losing your little man. You fought nobly. Sometimes, it’s just impossible to correct the damage from an early life tragedy. It’s tough to see it in pets because they can’t talk or what not. We are not too different from our animal friends.…

I’m looking forward to enjoying my kids’ special brand of weirdness.

All I can remember is the disapproving head shaking their father gave us while he was doing yard work.

You’re right! I was shooting from the hip. Thanks for the help.

In 7th grade, my best friend, his 8 year old brother, and I would head bang to 3DD’s Superman. In their front yard. No shame. Owned it.

These guys came to my school for our spring concert in 2010. It was....AWESOME. There were about 50 people in total in the gym. This number may include the band and everyone associated with them. And me. Just me.