Breaking them in isn’t bad. I’d just oil them up, tie a ball in them and put them under my pillow at night. In the morning you've got a nice seat ready to have a catch.

Who said anything about safe?  I would say this is about as safe as having a job at Deadspin and not writing about sports.

This is straight from the Jian Ghomeshi playbook

Da fuk is going on in here? Looks like it’s covered in plague blisters.

Is this the idiots thread?

Don’t hold your breath. If Pelosi literally tossed Trump down a reactor shaft Star Wars style, Splinter would be right there bitching that she lifted with her back instead of her legs.

“ looks more like a WASP than I do.” - says that man who is not white, Anglo-Saxon, or Protestant. 

The big issue is “how long it takes to refill”...My MR2 can hardly manage 210 miles on a tank, but I don’t care if I can fill up anywhere in a few minutes.

If those people are not here yet, why do you have to drop their argument off for them like a flaming bag of shit?

Are you fucking kidding me, Taco Bell? The double decker taco? On September 12th of all fucking days? This is literally worse than 9/11.

“What’s the difference?” —Queen Victoria

How did a fly get into the White House?

Don’t understand why anyone would even consider abducting Heisenberg.  After all, nobody could ever be sure of his exact location.

False: Ben Askren no longer thinks.

Definitely the highest nitrated. 

Another RS7 and then wear them like skates

Or the Madlib theory when they [verb] a bunch of [plural noun] all [preposition] a [place.]

I’d say it’s a fucking miracle no one got shot.

Tomatoes are amazing in every form except “tomato”

I mean, it’s definitly racist to call us Eskimos, so maybe instead you could use what we call ourselves? Inuit, Yupik, Inupiaq, Supiaq? (Also, if you don’t know which group name you should use, then you don’t know which group you’re talking about, and you shouldn’t use us as a joke for an article about cum).