Actually, they’re 10-0 over the last 8 games.

Tomorrow Trump will retaliate by signing an executive order defunding NASA.

Ben Stein: Ok class let’s reveal who we voted for. Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

This is so beyond fucked up, “FUCK” fails to fully represent how fucking stupid this - all of this - is.

According to FEMA, snow actually has quite a range of weight– from “3 pounds per square foot for light, dry snow to 21 pounds per square foot for wet, heavy snow.”

Yeah, who likes clean air and water? Not me if it means I have to pay one red penny in taxes for it! /s

Yet when they fail, they spill way more than a single railcar of oil.

If I’m shopping with my girlfriend, I find the best thing to do is to try to help her out. See, if I let her shop by herself, she’ll take an hour to find a pair of shoes and then not even get them. If I try to help, she’ll get so fed up with with me picking out terrible shoes for her that she’ll just give up and say…

Of all the possible comments to make you went with the most worthless one possible.

Pictured: What the inside of a house looks like when all the things a kid could potentially ruin have been removed.

Lucky they had so many dudes in the car.

Military parades are not customary to America for a variety of reasons

I must have stepped into a mirror universe in which the American President-Elect is threatening corporations. All in the while, the Communist Chinese President is exhorting the virtues of trade in Davos.

Showing off your military in that way is extremely third world dictator and the world knows it. If you have to bluster you probably aren’t that tough. Plus it’s sooooo cheesy.

Tires keep on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’
Ending my future
Tires keep on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’
Ending my future

I want to fly like an Enzo
Into the ravine
Fly like an Enzo
Let the 100 proof spirits carry me
I want to fly like an Enzo
Till I’m tipsy
Oh, Lord, I’m going through the windshield

Sure sure grandpa. Don’t go anywhere so we know where you are. For being communists though, we didn’t vote for Trumpski. I suppose you did though? Is it his brand of communist oligarchy you prefer?

Falseeeee. Only a few models commonly contain warming drawers (or in some cases, broilers). The vast majority just have storage drawers.

WOMP WOMP