#princespreading

Partial groin tear.

I think you mean RAF.

Thanks for the answer. I’ve always had direct deposit, but some others wait on the FedEx delivery of checks like it’s a lottery winning and run to the bank immediately, although I do remember the employer specifically admonishing us not to cash them until payday.

What about employers who hand out paychecks the day before they are dated/payday?

I think Paul Blart’s vetting process is pretty accurate for mall security, unfortunately.

His brother, Mike, is very bawdy.

If that's his attempt at mimicking her appearance, "Buzz, your girlfriend...woof!"

Resurrect the vuvuzela.

...by my Beta fish.

I get that he's internationally famous and all, but his bowling team's name still sucks.

I'm absolutely positive, having raised a girl through 9 year old whimsy, that by the time the babies arrived she'd instead decided what she really, really wanted was her room painted any-color-but-pink-now.

And molest their younger siblings!

Sis?!?

That is one meaty, meaty palm.

I didn't realize that I could read Japanese, but I'm fairly certain the first line on the screen cap is "Dafuq?"

He's just feeling sad because he was the Valedictorian.

“I don't keep the industrial sized Purcell on my desk only because of the colored students."

Confession: the only pregnancy craving ever had was with my son, for Popeye's Red Beans N Rice. I would drive out of my way to purchase the little (seemed like thimble-size) individual serving for lunch nearly daily. Sadly, he remains a very gassy child, nigh onto twenty years later.

Please, no one tell his dad that I thought the bows on his manpris look funny.