I refuse to buy a 2021 Escalade unless it comes with Stalker Kristen as the default screen.

Fwd comfy cruiser sedans aren’t exactly high up on my list of cars to buy, but I actually find the ES to be a pretty decent looking car.

Neutral: Did you personally decide against upgrading to a new car? What stopped you from buying? 

Seems like a boring lateral move. The instrument cluster is the most interesting thing here and only because they took the S-class’s cluster concept, made it bigger and curved. Cadillac actually managed to take the only product they have left with a character and made it boring. It’s not offensive, it not bad it’s…

On that topic, “the pixel density of a 4K TV” is meaningless (because they come in different sizes), and suspiciously non-descriptive. For example, a 4K, 75" TV has a pixel density of 58.7 ppi (pixels per inch)- if we use Apple’s “retina” criteria (the point at which pixels subtend a sufficiently small arc of the…

Sheet metal doesn’t look that much different from the now out-going model. More evolutionary than revolutionary. The black grille is new. No doubt. Other than that and the front lights, it looks nearly the same as before and I see a ton of Escalades. I’m sure this will sell (and lease) like crazy, though.

That’s a helluva asterisk.

It’s not a 38" screen... it’s 3 separate screens

Here’s the problem with the new design in non-sport trim. It looks too similar to a Traverse. Park it next to one and your average Escalade and Traverse owner will likely get the two confused... 

Maybe I’ve been poisoned by how bad the Tahoe and Yukon are, but I think this is easily the best of the trio. 

It’s squinting at the poors 

Meh. They’re both whatever. Neither is particularly attractive or ugly to me. They both look like big SUVs. They’re both going to sell a bunch. See you in 5-7 years when we do this all over again.

“in a market that can’t get enough of big and stupid SUVs."

At least they did it right with the FX35, which was secretly just a Z car. Mitsubishi took the name and nothing else.

Jennifer Lopez

A young person liking a Lincoln is the best news Lincoln has heard in 40 years.

As a young person, I really like lincoln’s offerings. They may be a little to expensive for me at the moment, but at least I like them. Thats more than I can say about cadillac. Nothing against GM, I own a GMC and like it.

4th Gear: It feels like Lincoln has pulled off a turnaround that was 10x more successful than Cadillac’s attempt, and in about 1/4 the time, just be doing really simple shit.

Something that has rear wheel drive and no CVT. Although a manual is preferred, a good 8-speed automatic would be fine. At least 300hp and either a sedan or a coupe. Quiet comfortable interior and well-designed headlights that are bright but aimed properly. Minimal infotainment. Just good sound and bluetooth audio…

Lukewarm take: Convertibles are better at night than during the day — Sweating into one’s leather seats, being on perpetual display, and skin cancer (an actual epidemic) kinda suck. But a warm/coolish night? So fun.