Had a tire blow out on me on my first trip to college (Southern Maryland to Savannah, about 9-10 hours). The car (2000 Ford Taurus in case you were wondering) was vibrating as all get out but I just thought it was the 75 MPH I was doing coupled with the bike rack on the back of my car. I was 18 and very stupid about…

Your mom sounds awesome. I can only imagine that person’s face when she said that.

that was my thought, too.

These are the same idiots who thought that almost cutting taxes completely to business owners would result in some economic wonderland, but as with most trickle down methods, it didn’t do shit because business owners KEPT all that money they weren’t having to spend on taxes. Who knew?! And to try and clean that up,…

I drive by a Planned Parenthood clinic everyday when I go to work. Every Thursday or Friday, I see a small group of protesters holding signs that say, “babies are a gift from God” or something along those lines. And every time, they have children with them, who really aren’t “protesting” as much as they are running…

Ah, I see ;)

Wait, you’re ACTUALLY sober now?

I tip my hat. Well played.

More like Fallout 4 Survival Mode. Also, how’s life, Manziel?

The peanut butter question reminded me of your ‘leave butter out or don’t” dilemma from a little while back. My parents always left it out in a glass butter dish with a lid over it to keep it fresh. Personally, I prefer butter this way. Easier to spread. And I never got sick eating it, so you should be fine, unless…

It took me a second to figure it out, too, and I used to live near this team. My thought process was, “Wait, they don’t wear helmets in basketba— oh, yeah. Hehe.”

Well, you are a little bitch.

To be fair, I think he may have been the home-town play-by-play guy for the Trail Blazers. The radio guy for the Capitals does the same thing whenever an opposing team scores. “Crosby at the crease, and he scores. Cool, I guess.”

Praying Mantis: “PFFT! I eat husbands for breakfast all the time.”

What would they use instead of yellow cards? I could see that getting confusing.

Dude...

J.J. Abrams...KEYBOARD SOLO!

Damn near killed him!

Well at least the almost-incest was fictional, unlike with Woody Allen.

I know everyone’s entitled to their opinion, but you cannot seriously sit there and say Annie Hall is a better film. Ok, so Woody Allen can write better dialogue, but how does that trump the, as you called it, “cultural revolution?” Star Wars advanced filmmaking and reignited America’s fascination with movies. Despite…