I just tracked down the four people from these tweets and stabbed them in the eyes. #soworthit #yourewelcome

Honestly if someone was like “I KNOW IM HOT BUT JFC ITS EXHAUSTING TO GET HIT ON ALL THE FUCKING TIME” I would like that WAY MORE than a humble brag because I know exactly how it feels.

I am always deeply, deeply upset by the lack of cat representation at the white house.

Don’t forget the guy from Jersey who is losing his restaurant after posting his “White History Month” poster in the window. (The restaurant was doing terribly anyway beforehand and he couldn’t pay his bills, but he is blaming bigots for the bad business.)

I’d love to see Satan’s day planner.