True. Anyone can riot without any reason to do so. Hell, people riot when their Black Friday $5 toaster is unavailable at Wal-Mart.

Sports fans have rioted over winning. Rioting has nothing to do with good, bad, winning, or losing.

Please send Sean Hannity's ass out there ... Please, Please, Please

Considering my car has 281,000 miles and only 3 fully functional cylinders, my check engine light is always on. When I attempt to rapidly accelerate it blinks at me as if it is cheering me on to go faster.

My fathers old truck had the engine light on for the better half of 40k miles. His response — "I looked, it's still in there"

Yep—my wife called me one day and said the movie camera light was on.

I stayed home and jerked off instead. That's how I spend most of my major life events, really.

My 10 year is in 2 years. Is there really a point in high school reunions anymore? I already know who got fat because of Facebook.

At my 15 year high school class reunion, one of the ex-jocks (now sunburned and balding) took to grabbing every female ass that was within reaching distance. As I was making my final goodbyes at the end of the evening, I gave him a nice full-cheeked goodbye grab for old-times' sake. My husband was not pleased, but I…

They could make things more efficient by skipping a step:

The check engine light should just be retitled the "dealer's boat payment is due" light.

An example: a couple of months ago, I got this warning that said "HDC FAULT: SYSTEM UNAVAILABLE" every time I started the engine. This scared me. I didn't know what HDC was, but by God, I wanted it to be available! So I took the car in, and do you know what the problem was? The battery was dying. It turns out this is…

I have a VW — and recognized the light instantly. Sigh...

Hell, consumers may even appreciate that info a bit more and we would all be safer.

The biggest reason I hate that light? It causes you to fail emissions, even if it is on for a slipping transmission or some other thing that has nothing to do with emissions. On that note, emissions should be done with a tailpipe test, PERIOD. Even if you have a failed oxygen sensor or some other related piece of…

As a former Jetta 3 owner, this post triggered some serious PTSD.

I called 2 dealers and they BOTH opened with that. Guy should've just asked me if I was an idiot.

"My check engine light is on."
"Oh, sir, quick question. Are you an idiot?"
"Nope! Not the gas cap."
"OK, when would you like to bring it in?"

Since I have some sort of automotive masochism, I own a B6 Audi A4 and a Volvo S60R. The warning messages that they (do and don't) display never cease to amaze me. The Audi is overly dramatic with a terrifying and ear splitting BEEP! and then a near english message on the multi-function display ranging anywhere from…

To help explain why I think the check engine light is so stupid, allow me to relate what happened when I called up the Land Rover dealer to schedule an appointment. Before doing anything else, the service advisor immediately asked one question: "Did you check your gas cap?"

Italian astronomer Galileo Galilei (1564 –1642), who, according to legend, muttered the phrase eppur si muove, meaning "And yet it does move", after being forced to recant, in front of the Inquisition, his belief that the earth moved around the sun.