Is it really priceless when it’s insured for a specific value?

If you disgorge an antelope, does that mean it’s a cantaloupe?

Fan should have known to watch out for his Nether regions at that game.

If I ever get into porn, Lord Beaverbrook will be my screen name.

Pain-steaking is ordering the thing well-done and dousing it with ketchup. Also known as the Trump.

HOT TAKE ALERT!

- @gehrig38

He could be a heel about it and choose to not toe the line.

And with this new rule, his career will be taking a step back.

And yet, he just stood there and let it happen.

Glad to see Bobby Jenks is keeping busy.

Rumspringa training.

Jesus, this line: “There has never been a documented case of anyone else falling through the Glory Hole, said Don Burbey of the Solano Irrigation District.” 

I can’t tell if it’s the camera angle or my ignorance of Vietnamese soccer, but shouldn’t the red guys be heading south?

Hopefully when he’s ready to retire at 50 we can get him over to MLS

I don’t want a large Farva. I want a goddamn 12,000 liter cola.

I don’t know what part of the Midwest you were in, but around here everyone thinks they are a trash bird that spends its time shitting on golf courses. And walking around with a conveniently golf ball sized head at the end of a long golf tee like neck, acting like I wouldn’t murder its smug ass given half a chance.

[knock knock knock]

Some say I look a bit like Chris Berman of ESPN. Some say I sound like Gilbert Gottfried. Some say I taste like rancid milk. Some say I smell like a dead raccoon trapped in a hot car trunk. Some call me the Gangster of Love. Some call me Mictlantecuhtli, the Aztec lord of death. They're right.