Kevin Pollack did Christopher Walken, telling the (NSFW) Aristocrats joke. He gets extra points for keeping the imitation cool while telling an over the top story. Especially the part about the watermelon.

You should do it anyway. Fuck the rules.

Hands up: who skipped the video and went right to the comments?

What's nice about all of this is you can always rest assured that God never gives you more than you can handle.

To people saying these jokes aren't high-brow or subtle, I think you're missing the point. Rick Perry isn't high-brow or subtle (though he is a joke). They're mocking his own little caveman peanut-brain and I think it's hilarious. The questions are intentionally disrespectful because this loathsome toad doesn't…

Honestly, breastfeeding can be a total pain in the butt. It can be tiring, painful, and you can't ever stray too far from the baby without keeping a pump on hand. So, anything that encourages moms to keep it up, if they can, even in the face of adversity is a good thing.

She does not appear to be on stage, so I'm not sure what you are getting at with people in the audience. She's just on a chair somewhere. Why wouldn't she feed her kid? I mean, I would definitely try to avoid the exact moment I'm walking across the stage to collect my accolades, but the whole damn ceremony? That baby…

With all of that going on, do you really think that you or your family will be paying attention to a breastfeeding woman? I can't remember who was sitting in front of me at my graduation. It could have been a breastfeeding woman or a polar bear for all I know.

I uhgreeeeeee!! I don't get Ed Sheeran. I don't get Sam Smith.

but smaller than I thought they would be... Everything appears bigger on screen?

They're nice boobs.

Jesse Williams is onto something. Also, he's extremely beautiful.

Or you just know one person who told you. I'm actually surprised the statistic isn't higher.

Come on now. The same can be said for alcohol, medications, and a number of other items. Kids can get into all sorts of shit, but there are ways to try to combat that besides banning things for adults. In two words: Parental Responsibility. It's the parent's job to make sure their edibles are kept in a safe place…

hilaria, i fucking dare you to just stand like a goddamn person for a whole fucking day

Vaseline Chibatta Fluffy Princess.

Oh, lord, I can only imagine. My son is 13. I CANNOT SING AND DANCE ANYMORE EVER.

Well, the shit is GROSS and ubiquitous, so backlash was inevitable.

Uh, this is weird. I mean it's just a little too try-hard. I can't put my finger on why it's annoying to me, but I'm not crazy about this obvious, aggressively-masculine "sexiness" that requires grabbing your junk. Paul Newman is about as aggressively masculine as I want to get.

As a religious person who supports reproductive rights...