Double boom. You deserve to have to deal with it without any more truth telling. Unless you are a serial cheater and given the opportunity would do it again. Then you're a creep who doesn't deserve her. 

Yup. It’s called life. It sucks.

Completely agree.

You need your own column because this is really fucking good advice.

I have a slightly different take on that: If he doesn’t tell his wife—who clearly values honesty—about this, then she can’t make a choice as to whether or not being with him is right for her. And that’s the rub.

Exactly! And you can’t make people participate in your bullshit. I spent so much time, and created so much hurt for others, in thinking I could just keep inserting myself into other peoples’ lives to try to “repay” or “make it up to them” after I did stupid, hurtful shit. I then felt like the victim when people would…

I was kind of curious about that as well.

The main problem with the second approach? People tend to know when you’re lying.

I was so happy to see that the advise was don’t tell her.  If you tell your wife you will transfer the emotional pain and burden of the secret to her, you will feel better, she will feel worse.  And it is unlikely your relationship will recover. This your pain and shame to endure. 

You’re wife didn’t bring it up again because she wants to know more. She wants to know if you’re trustworthy, and she thinks more information will help her know for sure.

Sometimes you just have to stand there in your wrongness and be wrong. That might mean telling the truth and dealing with the consequences, or it might mean keeping it to yourself and dealing with that emotional burden. Only you can determine which option is the better one based on the specifics of your relationship…

Came down here JUST for that... on my life, this appears to be the hardest lesson of that early adulthood transition - some things don’t get re-dos.  Some decisions you make are fucking permanent and there is no scripted resolution where everyone lives happily ever after and things work out.  Reasons why it’s all the…

This crisis you’ve been suppressing isn’t meant to be resolved, it’s meant to be endured.

It’s a cursory plot that serves as the framework for gorgeous glam rock videos and THE COSTUMES. It’s visual dessert. I love it.

What I remember about Queen of the Damned was keeping my mouth shut when I overheard two Aaliyah fans saying she totally would have gotten an Oscar had she not died before the release. I opened it to say “They can and have given those posthumously,” but decided it wasn’t worth pissing them off.

What?! This movie was highly enjoyable and Tom Cruise and his wig were campy, scenery-chewing perfection. I gotta say, I’ve been visiting this site since it launched but I think I’m done. Between that ghastly “breaking quarantine for dick” article and the current writers’ insistence on writing entire articles sneering…

Also, I think she needs to do an Eartha Kitt biopic. 

Also, Thandie Newton is in this movie. 

Christian Slater, not Christian Bale. 

aw, thanks for the memories. I’m 42 and was the target audience for this film. i was goth, i had read most of these books (they ramble on A LOT and you can skip entire chapters without missing much, unless you enjoy reading the phrase “the savage garden!” up to 4 times per page!) and my favourite thing to look back on…