This is so, so true. On the nice end of the spectrum my coffee shop had Doris, the sweetest old lady who came in at the same time every day, always had something nice to say to whoever was working, and who always asked so sweetly for help putting condiments in her iced coffee because she was too short to reach the…

It’s hard to say since I wasn’t there, and I obviously can’t “diagnose” anything, but I am getting some SERIOUS junkie/addict vibes from caramel lady. I had a similar situation in my coffee shop (although not exactly that thank GOD) with a lady who was clearly addicted to what was probably meth. We had music shows at…

I totally agree - they’re all the sorts of things that little girls think are fun, which makes it suuuuuuuper extra gross (to me, this is just my own opinion) that we’re supposed to still want them when we’re grown ass women. None for me, thanks. I just want to get drunk and dance with my friends.

That is SO NOT COOL. Something like this happened to my parents on their wedding day over 30 years ago, and my mom is still furious about it. They both wanted nothing to do with cake smashing, because...ew, and agreed they would just gently feed each other a small bite. My dad fed my mom her piece just fine, but when…

I was just at a wedding this weekend that had a lot of the traditional stuff, but not only did they not do a toss, I was having such a good time that it didn’t occur to me until the next day (when I was lying in bed wondering how I could still be alive with 4 hours of sleep and one of my worst hangovers to date). I’d…

I’m gonna butt in here and throw in my chili recipe because it’s easy, cheap, and delicious.

oh my god I am SO SORRY

I firmly believe that there’s no shame in just sitting it out. I’ve done it before, and even if people are trying to peer pressure you into it I think it’s worth the nudges and the pestering to save your dignity.

Yesss, that’s exactly it for me too. I have such vivid memories of being badgered by my mom to go participate when that was literally the last thing on earth I wanted to do - why would I put the people I love through that same torment? Honestly I blame creepy wedding DJs for most of this crap anyway. They have to earn…

HOW DID YOU KNOW???

Secret sister solidarity!

These conspiracy theories are giving me life. Bless.

Can I print this reply out and have it laminated? I want to start handing it out to everyone who tells me to “just have fun!” before telling me what to do.

TO BE FAIR TO MY MOTHER I’m pretty sure she partly meant that there will be some older guests there who are just, idk, trained to expect one and will feel extremely weird if there isn’t? Like their traditional gender role senses will be tingling and making them grumpy? Which, you know, is more of a bonus for me than…

So, here’s the way I see it. Obviously this is all just my opinion, since everything to do with weddings is really just people’s opinions, not something set in stone. Apply your grains of salt liberally!

guys

I’m sad I missed the original post, but I am SO GLAD that a bunch of other people agree with me that bouquet tosses are the literal worst. I’m vehemently not doing one at my upcoming wedding, and I am already sick of hearing about it from older acquaintances and relatives. My mom is trying so hard not to nag about it…

THANK YOU. I have never, never liked the bouquet toss and never participated, even when being practically bullied into it by family members, and I am certainly not going to force my friends to humiliate themselves for a tradition I hate. Heaven forbid that I just skip it though according to my mother, who seems to…

If there were a way to ban people from asking me questions about my wedding, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Uh, yeah. I really don’t know why this is such a hard concept for people to grasp, but this is exactly the case. You’re just getting a coffee and a pastry? Cool, don’t worry about a tip because wow that took me about ten second to get you. You’re getting a round of five lattes and cappuccinos, all with different milks…