Also causing serious life-long side effects — an unplanned pregnancy or three.

Honestly, ever since I saw Key and Peele’s Substitute Teacher sketch, I CANNOT hear anything but “Jay-quellen” when I see that name.

Have you tried Long Tall Sally? Super long inseams (I think up to 38”, which is bonkers) and all sizes. I share this company with every tall teenage girl I meet b/c I had such a rough time finding clothes at that age. I feel you on the Alice in Wonderland thing.

My dad died in 2007 and I still haven’t deleted a voicemail he left on my iPhone 3. The phone doesn’t work anymore. I haven’t powered it up in years. I don’t even know if I still have the right charger for it, but it is like this little shiny black brick of grief that I keep carrying around, moving from place to place…

When one or both parties has a personality disorder (as it sounds like is the case here), asking the parties to go-parent is inevitably a disaster. Believe me, divorce doesn't make people crazy. It gives crazy people a stage and an audience to let the crazy shine.