Wouldn't the glossy cardboard boxes work AGAINST the virus? 

The football coach at the small college that my mother worked at was named Dick Manlove. No, I am not kidding.  

It worked! Thank you for sending me the link so that I could experience everyone’s joy from when Bruce was adopted.

I went a few months without checking into SNS at all, but I’ve been back for a few weeks and I now have to very cautiously inquire about my boyfriend Bruce. 

Please tell your unicorn that I appreciate his or her understanding and that I will try to do better in the future.

Now I feel like a jerk for implying that there’s something less than desirable about unusual species of stuffed animals. I guess it’s just because my own personal experience has been pretty much limited to dogs & bears & monkeys & sheep. I once saw a little kid with a stuffed shark and I thought to myself “What are…

Rabbits! I completely forgot about rabbits, probably because I don’t think that I’ve ever had one (even as a child). Rabbits are completely acceptable & very good companions. Our dog, Riley, has a toy rabbit named “Bunny" that she truly loves. Other toys are just toys, but she treats Bunny as if she's her daughter. 

This is one of those posts which truly sets Jezebel apart from everything else out there. Well, this and any posts about either Gritty or the Phillie Phanatic. I wonder what those 2 are up to now that their teams seasons are in limbo? Maybe each staffer could write a few paragraphs on the off season exploits of…

Stuffed animals generally always make for excellent companions. Just out of curiosity - bear, dog, monkey, sheep, or “other"? (I cannot understand other). 

Trump has always needed an enemy to rant about & to claim that he's protecting his supporters from. A disease does not make a good enemy for him because it doesn't care about what he says & it doesn't react to anything he does. But when he links that disease to the Chinese government or any random Chinese people, then…

Personally, I’m going to go with "much more attractive" (than her current appearance), as opposed to your "quite attractive". It's still shocking regardless.  The woman in your pic seems as if she might not actually be horrible.  I guess that looks can be deceiving.  

Jared Leto IS the coronavirus. 

I feel bad for the head coach of whichever team signs this delusional, yet talented, egomaniac. He will play pretty well, get you a few wins, and completely destroy your entire organization both with his kooky health guru & his utter disregard for your decisions as a coach. Just because someone is good at one thing,…

I disagree. I believe the proposed payroll tax cut has only ever been a re-election ploy.

Donald Trump does feel fine (unfortunately). Hell, his name already appears in one of the verses. Time travel? 

Okay, here it is: if you’ve tried to make your own hand sanitizer, you’ve probably noticed that isopropyl alcohol or rubbing alcohol of any kind has pretty much disappeared (along with all of the toilet paper). Go to Canadian Tire (or really just the paint department of pretty much any store anywhere) and purchase…

Tell me about this shop of yours...I just might want to send you some money someday.

I have a secret (& completely legitimate) solution to the hand sanitizer thing that should remain very easy to obtain/manufacture as a result of how things are labeled in Canada. However, I’m a little hesitant to post it online for fear of it ending up on Facebook and then everyone ends up panic shopping all of the…

Wait, did they really say that he’s 200 lbs? I’m just 6' & I’m about 200 lbs & I’m relatively thin (just a little bit of extra padding around the belly). I'm no expert, but that fucker's gotta be at least 240 lbs, probably more like 260 lbs. 

Wait, is "two fathers" possible? I'm really only familiar with human reproduction.