This is one of those posts which truly sets Jezebel apart from everything else out there. Well, this and any posts about either Gritty or the Phillie Phanatic. I wonder what those 2 are up to now that their teams seasons are in limbo? Maybe each staffer could write a few paragraphs on the off season exploits of…

Stuffed animals generally always make for excellent companions. Just out of curiosity - bear, dog, monkey, sheep, or “other"? (I cannot understand other). 

Trump has always needed an enemy to rant about & to claim that he's protecting his supporters from. A disease does not make a good enemy for him because it doesn't care about what he says & it doesn't react to anything he does. But when he links that disease to the Chinese government or any random Chinese people, then…

Personally, I’m going to go with "much more attractive" (than her current appearance), as opposed to your "quite attractive". It's still shocking regardless.  The woman in your pic seems as if she might not actually be horrible.  I guess that looks can be deceiving.  

Jared Leto IS the coronavirus. 

I feel bad for the head coach of whichever team signs this delusional, yet talented, egomaniac. He will play pretty well, get you a few wins, and completely destroy your entire organization both with his kooky health guru & his utter disregard for your decisions as a coach. Just because someone is good at one thing,…

I disagree. I believe the proposed payroll tax cut has only ever been a re-election ploy.

Donald Trump does feel fine (unfortunately). Hell, his name already appears in one of the verses. Time travel? 

Okay, here it is: if you’ve tried to make your own hand sanitizer, you’ve probably noticed that isopropyl alcohol or rubbing alcohol of any kind has pretty much disappeared (along with all of the toilet paper). Go to Canadian Tire (or really just the paint department of pretty much any store anywhere) and purchase…

Tell me about this shop of yours...I just might want to send you some money someday.

I have a secret (& completely legitimate) solution to the hand sanitizer thing that should remain very easy to obtain/manufacture as a result of how things are labeled in Canada. However, I’m a little hesitant to post it online for fear of it ending up on Facebook and then everyone ends up panic shopping all of the…

Wait, did they really say that he’s 200 lbs? I’m just 6' & I’m about 200 lbs & I’m relatively thin (just a little bit of extra padding around the belly). I'm no expert, but that fucker's gotta be at least 240 lbs, probably more like 260 lbs. 

Wait, is "two fathers" possible? I'm really only familiar with human reproduction. 

I’m not wishing anything bad upon your in-laws, but I suspect that the demographics of Florida might look drastically different 2 years from now. Not to politicize this dilemma, but the Republican party should really be concerned about a disease that tends to specifically target their base voters.

Given how easily this disease is spread, I have to believe that there are tens of thousands of undiagnosed cases in the U.S.

This makes no sense to me. If they’re 80+, then they surely must have grown up with stories of the Spanish Flu outbreak. My grandfather’s first wife died from it, so these stories are a part of our family history. Google the Spanish Flu if you want a real horror story. It affected pretty much every family on the…

I cannot wait for THEIR end times to come.  

Your family & that ilk could easily reduce the number of abortions if they would just agree to provide healthcare & financial support to any woman with an unwanted pregnancy, and then adopt the newborn baby & be financially responsible for it for the next 20 odd years. Of course, they'd have to commit to doing this…

Yes, but they’re only rooting for the end times because “nothing bad is going to happen to them”. They'll change their tunes very quickly as soon as something bad actually is happening to them. 

I want one of these !!!! (although I’d prefer either a “classic silver” Dalek or maybe one of those crazy colourful ones that they once had).