I’ve sworn off Gawker before, but I always drifted back.

A wild animal being imprisoned for reasons completely beyond its comprehension, which has learned begging behaviors, like the one it’s displaying here, that it hopes will prompt its captors to throw scraps?

Everybody’s forgetting how his interview session actually went. There was context. What happened was, he first denied it. Then some reporter said, so you’re saying those screenshots were fake? He realized he couldn’t lie as he had just done, so he tried to fix it, and when he said “I’d have to say yeah,” he really…

Every time I read this guy, it makes me want to clean up my language, because I realize how childish I must sound.

I know people who carry weapons. They’re not assholes, and they’re certainly not thugs. Are all of their weapons properly registered? Knowing this one friend of mine in particular, I doubt all of hers are. But she’s not a thug, and there’s nothing, including his misdemeanors, in this guy’s record prior to this…

Guy I did community service with had an expression for it. I “went on vacation and came back on probation.”

I mean, OK, but you see what I mean. “He hauled off and shot someone, plus he once had a run in with the cops,” is sort of like “He hauled off and shot someone plus he once ate breakfast cereal straight out of the box.”

Yeah, some people run hot, is all. Those of us who do need to know that about ourselves and try to not do like these guys did—endanger those around us.

Oh, and sorry, I forgot. It was about two grams. I had smoked most of my stash up by then, traveling across the States.

It was Oklahoma. The actual offense was Driving With Out-Of-State Plates.

Good job, you gave Google another sorely needed click. NYDN: “Court records show Hayes pleaded guilty in 2014 to illegally carrying a gun and drug paraphernalia, and was sentenced to six months’ probation.”

You’re spot on with your comments.

“Except if they win, Philly gets their pick. Damnit.”

“It must really bother you that a con artist is creating a National Front movement in the country you call home. Nerd.”

Watch out for that third case, is what I hear (we’ve only done the first one). Might want to Google up some errata for case 3, apparently there were translation issues.

Not for Southerners. Gotta have sage if you’re making red eye gravy with your coffee and country ham.

Enjoyed the piece, but yeah, no, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi didn’t lead the Beatles to LSD. The notion is ridiculous; maybe it was supposed to be a joke, but didn’t seem that way. Obviously just a throwaway line, but I definitely stubbed my toe on it as I made my way through my reading.

“...thus its grammatically accurate.”

“I’m not interested in this topic. You’re not talking about something that interests me. Hey, guys, look at me!! Over here!!!! I’m SO uninterested in what you’re saying!!!! Hey, you guys, I really don’t want to have anything to do with you!!!!!! LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!”

Three time state champion in track, first-team all-state in cross-country, hadn’t gotten started at the college level yet. Accepted to Va Tech for an engineering major. I’d say he ticks both boxes.